Mid Life Thoughts - Please comment

[NaughtyTeacher]

Edited to fill in a bit more detail on the 2 gf!

Hi everyone. This kind of thing no one to discuss with. So hope the bros and sis here can just comment your two bits worth.

Here is some info on myself. Keeping somethings general to remain anonymous.

Profile: Married for more than a decade with children

Looks: Tall, but Dad Bod. I have been told I am good looking, and that I look in my 30s. When I dress up formally (at work) I know I do stun some of the ladies at work.

Financially: Stable. Good salary. Good side gigs

Situation at home: I am sure many bros here are the same. Wife is no longer interested in intimacy.

Situation outside: I have had two gfs over the past 5 yrs. They do not know about each other. Individually, each of them connected very well to me and me to them. Both needed me in some way, and I am always there for them. That was how feelings developed and turned intimate and how intimacy turned into a very deep emotional and physical connection with both. Both are married with kids.

The sex is awesome. I like to give a lot in a sexual relationship. Could give oral and tease the lady till they are bursting with desire before fucking them till heaven come. We often take leave to have staycations and fuck each other brains out. Or sneak out for dangerous public quickie sex in the car in secluded or even crowded car parks!
We also had a lot of toys to spice up every thing. Cock rings with vibrating bullets. and their favourite toys too.

Both came to an end at the same time. Since I am married and wont leave my family, they felt it wasn't going anywhere.

I feel very emotionally lonely. Going to FLs solves the sexual urge but my relationship with both of them are more than just about the sex. Its a connection I have never felt with anyone else my whole life.

I am not sure what to do now. It has been a few months but thoughts of either of them keep crossing my mind. I dont know if I should

(a) try to find someone else (but im not sure where to find. I even tried Sugarbook but got conned a lot)

(b) keep trying with them (very depressing to keep getting rejected)

(c) forget all these, focus on family and making money and be rich enough to go FL 2 - 3 times a week and just don't care so much about the emotions and connections.

I would like to hear your thoughts. If possible, do let me know if you are a guy or lady in your comments.

Thanks.
Someone who really needs someone.

[Fornikate]

Go C bro.

I'm a guy.

[tritonyeah666]

continue with (b), as it seems your emotions with them are deeper than just a simple FB rship.

[MisterBig]

Why not go (a) and (b) at the same time?

For (a), You just need to get yourself out there in various social settings.

For (b), really don't know about them. Some leave and will never come back. For these, you just have to let them go. But I do have 2 who kept saying they want to end, but never really did... just need to keep engaging them. Take a step back if you have to. Just don't be too needy.

[Fornikate]

Or go D.

Throw caution to the wind. Seek happiness. Even if you fail, at least you tried. It's a mid life crisis bro. One chance is all you'll get....

It's either that or suck it up and accept that A to C are all lousy choices that will make nobody happy.

My two cents.

[Durategra]

I’d go with C and also maybe pick up a hobby or sport to fill in empty pockets of time. In the process you just may find another side flick. But priority would be still home.

[Masquerader93]

I’d go with (a) if I were you - but with maybe a better screening process. At least the girls there know what they’re getting into and relationships can be formed with time. Might be tedious to find the right one but same as any relationship right?

(b) sounds like a terrible idea. If you guys had a relationship then this would essentially be a breakup - not just for you but for them too. Doubt they’ll be having an easy time getting over a 5year relationship as well. And honestly, it comes off as pretty selfish seeing as the reason they left was because you can’t give them what they want. Nothing would change even if you did get them back? Not unless your relationship with them was enough for you to get a divorce? Plus, when you break up a second time it will be on bad terms and there’s I nothing off limits for a spiteful person

(c) works too, but not sure what you mean by focus on family? From how you’ve phrased it, sounds like you would consider that a pretty sad life? If so, makes me wonder why are you actually staying married… Anyway I do also think that when you feel “empty” inside, visiting FLs just makes it worse

Or you know, treat it as you would any break up and find activities to take your mind off it. You can’t really “replace” relationships and this shitty feeling of loss is just something you’ll just have to suck up and wait for time to heal

[NaughtyTeacher]

Wow wow.. amazing. I wasnt expecting so many replies. Let me reply each

[NaughtyTeacher]

Originally Posted by Fornikate

Go C bro.

I'm a guy.

Thank you brother... the saddest part of this is

1. emotionally still empty.

2. sometimes FL kanna bait and switch. knn..waste time and money.

[NaughtyTeacher]

Originally Posted by MisterBig

Why not go (a) and (b) at the same time?

For (a), You just need to get yourself out there in various social settings.

For (b), really don't know about them. Some leave and will never come back. For these, you just have to let them go. But I do have 2 who kept saying they want to end, but never really did... just need to keep engaging them. Take a step back if you have to. Just don't be too needy.

Originally Posted by tritonyeah666

continue with (b), as it seems your emotions with them are deeper than just a simple FB rship.

Thanks thanks. (a) not easy also. Later get recognised by mutual friends or what. As a working parent, our schedule really packed. Hard to have settings to meet new pple.

(b) I like what both of you said about B. Yes. It is a lot more. Most of the time, being there to help them with their stuff is satisfying for me already. Intimacy is just how i connect with pple im really into.

[NaughtyTeacher]

Originally Posted by Fornikate

Or go D.

Throw caution to the wind. Seek happiness. Even if you fail, at least you tried. It's a mid life crisis bro. One chance is all you'll get....

It's either that or suck it up and accept that A to C are all lousy choices that will make nobody happy.

My two cents.

I assume this means to leave my current marriage and try to find a new one?

With children not easy to make this decision. but thanks for your opinion. I see my friends with Viet or PRC gfs and wives, sometimes a bit envy.

[NaughtyTeacher]

Originally Posted by Durategra

I’d go with C and also maybe pick up a hobby or sport to fill in empty pockets of time. In the process you just may find another side flick. But priority would be still home.

Yeah. thanks for understanding home priority thingy.

One of the gf, i get to meet everyday, so connection was very strong. now no more.

[NaughtyTeacher]

Originally Posted by Masquerader93

I’d go with (a) if I were you - but with maybe a better screening process. At least the girls there know what they’re getting into and relationships can be formed with time. Might be tedious to find the right one but same as any relationship right?

(b) sounds like a terrible idea. If you guys had a relationship then this would essentially be a breakup - not just for you but for them too. Doubt they’ll be having an easy time getting over a 5year relationship as well. And honestly, it comes off as pretty selfish seeing as the reason they left was because you can’t give them what they want. Nothing would change even if you did get them back? Not unless your relationship with them was enough for you to get a divorce? Plus, when you break up a second time it will be on bad terms and there’s I nothing off limits for a spiteful person

(c) works too, but not sure what you mean by focus on family? From how you’ve phrased it, sounds like you would consider that a pretty sad life? If so, makes me wonder why are you actually staying married… Anyway I do also think that when you feel “empty” inside, visiting FLs just makes it worse

Or you know, treat it as you would any break up and find activities to take your mind off it. You can’t really “replace” relationships and this shitty feeling of loss is just something you’ll just have to suck up and wait for time to heal

Dunno how to screen them... some just keep wanting a lot of money then block you. some even catfish... say young 30, meet that time is like almost 50 liao. .can be my sugar mummy liao. knn.

Totally agree with your take on point B. got big trouble nearly happened.

For (c) means to treat the past 5 years as a fairy tale chapter in my life and get back on with my normal story again.
Yeah. visit FL only gets the Edge off... emotionally feels worst. true. haiz

[crood]

A) only want $$ , however not easy to meet on each other’s expectations, u could be only 1 of their choices or they lack of chemistry , unable to click etc

B) let them go bah … if a woman decide to leave, means they really want to leave.

If they are not getting good deal out of a relationship other than sex , there’s no reason for them to stay. Honestly no woman will like to be a side chick.

Moral issues aside, which woman will like fo “share”, who won’t want to be the main attention?

C) since you can’t leave the kids , just focus on them. Quite tiring to maintain so many relationships too.
Given a choice , I will choose to focus on my family and strengthen the love only with my spouse. The days of fun were over.

[surecatch]

Post here (in this forum I mean) and look for a sugar baby...
Sure can find.

If not just go C while scrolling dating apps and find FWB...