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#1
26-11-2005, 03:32 AM
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Have you ever regretted?
It has been coming to 5 years. In these 5 years, the voice of her pleading me not to leave her, kept repeating in my mind. Like a dormant fire, it would surface every now and then to engulf me in a depression.
I still remember the moment when I first saw her. That lovely smile and that charming face were what that first attracted me to her. Through my friend, we came to know each other. We were then in our teens. We did not have much money to really enjoy life. Perhaps just enough to catch a movie once in a blue moon. That's all. But honestly speaking, we were really happy. Though I may not realise it then, but in retrospect, I have come to realise that the happiest moments in life may not require the presence of money at all. Since she entered my life, it totally changed. I became a different person. Whatever I do, I would think of her. I would always be missing her, even if I had just sent her home. Life was heaven. Gradually, like many others, loving a person soon turned into a habit. I realised that I no longer missed her or looked forward to meeting her as much as I did in the past. I questioned my love for her. I did not know if my love for her had subsided. I made myself believed it, or so I thought. She had stayed faithfully by my side even in the lowest moment of my life, refusing to even entertain any calls from her suitors. She firmly trusted that I was the one who would take care of her for the rest of her life. And how I had betrayed her trust. We were together for coming to 2 years. It was near Christmas. I called her and it began with our usual casual conversation. Midway through it, I told her that I realised that I could not be with her anymore. I wanted a break-up. She was devastated. Someone who was the closest person to her was to be a stranger suddenly. She cried. Through her tears, she pleaded for a second chance and asked what was wrong with her. She was willing to change anything about her, as long as I was willing to be by her side. I was adamant. I refused. After a few words of consolation, I put down the phone. I thought I did the right thing. No point dragging the relationship if I did not love her anymore, I told myself. Soon, days turned into weeks and months. Slowly but surely, I began to realise that I had never stopping loving her. Just that it had transformed into a habit. She was still in my mind. Since her entry to my life, her images had been forever etched there. I thought I could forget her easily. How wrong I was. After a few months of mental torture, I called her for the first time since our break-up. I told her my feelings. This time, I was the one pleading for a second chance. She flatly declined. This was retribution in its best form. I was heartbroken. But who could I blame for my plight. I fully deserved it. Though I could no longer have her by my side, I still sincerely wish her well. I heard from my friends that soon after our break-up, she slowly picked up the bits and pieces and moved on with her life. She subsequently found a new boyfriend. Someone who loved her wholeheartedly, someone who was totally different from me. Perhaps this was the best course. As I continued to venture down the road of life, inside my heart, I had quietly hoped that I had never made that call. To be frank, till now, I still do not know when I can forget her and stop pinning for her. It was a lost hope. Maybe she is better off without me. Maybe I should keep trying to forget her. Maybe, just maybe...... 
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#3
26-11-2005, 04:21 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Quote:
 ask me la..... 
__________________
Trying... to retire...
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#4
26-11-2005, 04:32 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Quote:
Eh bro, always look forward, and remember, a good horse does not eat gostan grass!
__________________
all gals are made of sugar and spice and all things nice... Who Shags Wins
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#6
26-11-2005, 04:45 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
this is life..... things got to move on......
i understand your pain, but what to do? she had moved on in her life, so can you. see open bro.
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#7
26-11-2005, 05:01 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Quote:
In short, I deeply regret my action, as rightfully pointed out by some of the bros here. However, I am comforted by the fact that I had known her and had loved her. For the rest of the bros, my sincere appreciation for your very kind words. Thanks! In fact, I will be settling down with my current gf soon. Just that I do hope to get over this episode and start life anew. I do not wish to be unfair to my wife-to-be. So one of the best ways is perhaps to take a walk down the memory lane and penned down whatever my memory served me.
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#8
26-11-2005, 05:16 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Till this very day...I still love my very first GF....y??? bcoz its my first..... keep the good memories....throw away the bad...sometimes it good to remeber the past..because it reminds us of where we come from and who we are today.....
but never let it control your life......life goes on whether u want it to or not..so might as well carry on living your life and njoy wat lies ahead of you.. take it as a learning experience so that you would commit the same mistake again..... CHEERS
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#9
26-11-2005, 09:03 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Quote:
I think you mean "you would NOT commit"... My nick as you can see is "mightaswell". Why? Because after 11 yrs of marriage and two beautiful daughters, my (soon to be ex) wife has decided to call it a day to our marriage, despite the sacred vows and oaths. So I think to myself, I might as well accept her decision and carry on with my life. There is after all, a silver lining on every cloud. So, I am packing my bags and returning to the home of my forebears. It will be strange to live a bachelor lifestyle again after so many years but with sufficient Vitamin M, I am hoping that there is some SYT out there who will help me cope For those of my cheonging bros who are married (and hope to remain so), my advise is to take care of your wife and be sensitive to their needs and desires (and I don't mean just sexually). Women don't always tell you what they are thinking - they expect us to read their minds - and the happy man is the one who can do just that. To bro funlovingboy, don't look back - look to the future. Broken hearts are part of the trials and tribulations of life. There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives - call it fate or destiny - but, from an older man (i.e. me), don't regret the things that you do, right or wrong. The only regret would be when you are too old, to say, "IF ONLY...."
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#10
26-11-2005, 11:36 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
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But I dun agree your advise to take care of the wifey coz I was exemplary husband....never cheong...always at home when got free time....totally changed my lifestyle from cheongster to homebody....and never taochiak outside ......in the end still kenna divorced! Hiaz...wasted 7 years of my life married to her...i mean just imagine the number of SYTs I could have bonked all these time Soul_Reaper
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#11
26-11-2005, 11:41 AM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
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Maybe fate meant this episode as a learning lesson for u so that u may treat your next GF better.....or maybe u r like me....destined to remain a cheongster all your life....kekeke Soul_Reaper
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#12
26-11-2005, 02:49 PM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
"Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be lived forwards."
"Yesterday is gone and there's nothing you can do about it". - quoted from some motivational cards Sigh.. I think i am rather envious of Bro MightAsWell.
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#13
26-11-2005, 04:13 PM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
i had a ex gf who loved me alot even til now. she is stil waitin 4 me. i know dat she is the kind who can b a very gd wife n mother. she stick wif with throughout the days when i m down n out n dry ( bo lui ). she simply pays 4 everytink from food 2 transport, bills , clothings. she buys eevrytink 4 me. even my briefs.... somore she dun buy cheap stuffs. at least a polo ralph t-shirt or mont blanc card holder. but shes nt rich earning abt 2k /mth onli. when i had no money, she will transfer money in2 my acc n pay my hp bills secretly......
but den the problem is after staying 2geter 4 abt 2 yrs, i felt dat my love 4 her had vanished. everytime i c her, i hope dat time will pas quickly. we were jus goin through the process of being 2geter. finaly i broke off with her on christmas eve a few yrs ago... here cums the problem which i ned bros 2 help: i duno whether i still love her anot now. but i would b waken by nitemares of she having a new bf or gettin married. n i will b damn bad mood n gloomy. dis had been hapening 4 the past yrs since i broke off wif her. n deep inside my heart i noe dat if dat was true, i wont b able 2 take it. i duno wat the fuck m i doin. izit plainly selffish on my part or wat? i noe dat she will accept me anitime if i cal her. but den i duno wats stoping me. i m afraid 2 hurt her again. but den i m afraid dat when i cal her, i will receive bad news. aniway i oso find it very hard 2 put in words. hope bros here wont find it blur...... pls enlighten.....
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#14
26-11-2005, 04:21 PM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
To know is pain. Not knowing will only lead to a wandering mind.
I knew my ex more than 2 years ago. I left her with tears on her cheeks and didn't know how I mustered the courage to tell her. The only thing which travelled through my mind was that I felt suffocated by her paranoia and having to clear her senseless suspicions. No doubt I liked her a lot. On the other hand, I realised that I had to let go of a relationship which was more pain than anything else. Since two years ago, whenever I see couples strolling down the shopping mall (which I used to go with her), I would remember those sweet memorable moments I had with her. She was the one and only girl I met before who would help cook lunch for me, during those hard days. Yet, she made me want to strive harder and to make the next girl in my life a happier one. More than 2 years after the break up, I'm still looking. Sigh.... Its the emotion and memory which make a man a stronger one.
__________________
I'm not an idealist, but one who had an irrevocable contract with faith. Being cynical is not a choice, but a result of idealisms which had failed man too often. A lack of faith is not only due to failures, but caused by man's decision not to have faith, as well. 
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#15
26-11-2005, 05:14 PM
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Re: Have you ever regretted?
Sweet memory.. yes, it was sweet, and now bitter to recall. Memory makes me feel the pain. It's my weakness that hurt my "dear dear". Until now I still don't have the courage to pick up the phone to call her. I still have her pic as the wall paper of my desk top.
for the bro whose ex-gf is still waiting, pls wait no more. follow your heart or you will regret. To tell whether you still love her: 1. Who is the person that you would like to call FIRST when you have a piece of good news? 2. Who is the one person that you want to share your feelings and secrets? 3. Who is the one person that you are willing to die for? Just IMHO.
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