advice needed from samster

[yankaiftw]

I come to know a girl when i was 19 years old, dated her and soon we are together. Was not serious about the relationship @ all , all i thought was to bonk her and throw her away after few months or until i can find a better girl.

soon my uncle asked me to work part time for him i can earn about 10k-15k i can even buy a car when i was 19. I felt great and thought that i am like the king of the world.

i realize she not the type of materialistic girl and i really hope to settle down with her. I spend a lot of money on her willingly as i was also enjoying the good food , overseas trip etc. I treat her really well, give in to her for everything and we didn't have any major quarrel over the years.


I got kick out of school eventually too as i was collecting soccer and got caught, I did not her tell about anything as i do not want her to know that i do cant earn as much as before. I always give her white lie when she talk to me about this.

I borrow a lot of money from her and my friends to pay debts, she stay with me throughout for this 5 years which i fail to tell her things truthfully, but i really love her, she had already break off with me, that's when i know that she was aware that i got kick out of school borrow money from my friends and i lied to her a lot, she was always giving me chances by not telling me off things, she knew that i am the type of guy whom really ai mian zi so she didn't tell me off,when she knew i was lying to her. i was foolish to keep on telling her lies over and over again to cover up for the previous lie.

now that i broke off with her, i really changed a lot, been studying part time while having a stable job.

called her a few times but from her tone she has already given up on me and i think shes v happy to be free now.

anything i can do ? to move her heart ? shes a very 'soft' type of person whom will give in easily. we broke off for about 8months already, initially i thought i wont go back to talk to her, as i don't want to ruin her life to stay together with me. But now i am confident that i will be able to provide her with a happy and sweet life.

what can i do?

[alan0338]

Originally Posted by yankaiftw

anything i can do ? to move her heart ? shes a very 'soft' type of person whom will give in easily. we broke off for about 8months already, initially i thought i wont go back to talk to her, as i don't want to ruin her life to stay together with me. But now i am confident that i will be able to provide her with a happy and sweet life.

what can i do?

go for it bro, at least give a try, if fail also wont let yourself down.
good luck to you.

[hotdeal4u]

Efforts, determination and patience will pay off

[Daeva]

Start off again as friends. It may take time to regain the trust that has been lost. Show her that you are genuine, sincere, and have changed for the better. Try not to pressure her too much if you can. She may appreciate it.

When the mood is right, start to get closer to her. All the best!

[HCKing]

if she still feels 4 u then u gotta go the extra miles to prove to her that u have really changed for the better. u just gotta make the effort to do so. dont hurry her into going back to u but give her time to slowly accept u again.

[9.Emperor]

First, find out if she has bf already or ppl going after her.
Also, try to get an insider, her friend to be your ally. Time and patience but still no guarantees.

[dato_sg]

Brother you have done your part. Now just wait and see what you get in return. Wish you have a happy ending like all the fairy tales story " And they lived happily ever after"

[M.T.G.o.D]

Method 1. - The TV show type.
hire some of ur paikia friend, then stage a scene where they go bully ur gal.. then JUST NICE u passing by.. then u save the day = u hero.

please make sure u suffer abit of damage like bleeding here or there.. kana punch in the face or something.. then she can aid u.. then u more time to spend with her..

assuming she dunno wtf happened to u after u two broke up, then got conversation topic.. then u can tell her u changed person..

Method 2. The buddy help.

This is tested and proven wan. but u need a real bro to help u out.

what happens is you get a bro to approach her, make sure she knows him also wan, so easier to pull it off, then no defense also.. get him to just let her know u're still SUPER hung up over her.. and that you still like her etc etc.. and has really changed alot for her..

the idea is that, when its another person telling her, its easier for her to accept, coz if u tell her, will have the flashback of you lying to her la.. and all the negative things associated.

after ur friend talked to her, let it die for 1 day. next day, get ur friend to contact her tell her u fell ill.. very verybadly.. go with food poisoning, say u vomit and diarrhea. then got slight fever.. in most cases i've advised my friend, she will sms u/call u to ask about u.. tell u to take care la, etc. strike up a conversation. sound different from before, then ask her if she got time come over look after u a while or not.

most prob. she will decline. which is good. thats where u say. "wah, i sick le u dun wan come take care of me. when i get well le, must go out with me k?"
since she rejected u 1st time round, this simple request will seem ok, and most prob she will agree..

then comes ur own skill liao. dun sound like a super loser. just be cool. and don't sound too needy. if she is very soft like u said. it should be easy to get her back. all the best.

MEthod 2. tested and proven 4/5 times. I devised it myself wan. jia you.

[squiggle]

1. Since your love with her is for real now. Then don't need to worry about this.

2. Since you got education & a job for now. Meaning you have a future. At least able to support her & yourself.

3. Be back as normal best friend with her first. If possible. Then go to a quiet place & tell her all your feelings inside you. Girls doesn't like people to lie, a person who can take care about them & have $$$.

Tell her. You lied about your life is because you don't want to make her worry. But I never cheated you in our relationship before. I know money is important, so I tried my best to earn as much as possible to buy things you like & etc. To keep you happy.


Make her has a sense that you really love her, you are sorry for what you had done, what you did to care about her & etc.


If really cannot patch back. Then just stay as best friend. Good luck TS.

[Hasting]

Establish yourself first, financially and temperamentally. Once she sees this new side of you, or maybe it is what she is waiting to see, she could just turn around. If she is stil single by then. First step, plant someone with her to keep yourself updated on her status and wellbeing then establish yourself at the same time.

[llinghuchong]

Since she is the girl, use your sincerity to move her heart. Though it will not be easy to gain her trust again but as long as you don't give up easily, I believe you can do it.

Good luck to you, bro!

[Tenacious]

best to check if she still feels for you, if she doesn't, it doesn't matter how much u means to her in the past. One thing i've learnt is that when someone loves u, they will tolerate all your wrongdoings even if the whole world is against you. but when the love is gone, even if your intention is good, it means nothing. its easy to understand once u put urself in her shoes when one of your ex come back for u.

[Tenacious]

best to check if she still feels for you, if she doesn't, it doesn't matter how much u means to her in the past.

One thing i've learnt is that when someone loves u, they will tolerate all your wrongdoings even if the whole world is against you. but when the love is gone, even if your intention is good, it means nothing(sometimes even irritating). We do the same when ex-gfs come back for us right?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

How long has it been since you've even dated anyone?
Remember, now and then very diff liao
You 2 grew up and maturity changes ones needs and desires
My most non offenssive opinion is, maintain her at arms length whilst at the same time, explore the world outside for new dishes

[tttk3388]

I think maybe you can try asking her out as friend first ( Dun think too much about getting back into relationship). We human will always change our mentality as we grow older, you might already change into a better person but that doesnt mean she is still the same as before..

Give youself & her sometime..Stay as friend for the time being...Time will prove everything..At the same time maybe you can try opening up yourself....give yourself more options. Sometime its better to remain as friends than lovers. Who knows there will be somebody else who is more suitable than her?

If things really doesnt work out btw both of you...Dun take it too hard ...Move on....Take it as an experience..its only when we learn from our mistake that makes us grow...

Cherish what you have now..Because you wont know when it will be gone!

Just my humble opinion.....