My attempt at sharing my experiences...

[callmebad]

while young, it's good to have a lot of experience, but up till a certain stage, can be quite challenging to 'wrestle' or 'juggle' with a few women, because if they're emotionally involved with you, they will be progressively demanding more of your time

eventually, stick with one and shower all your love on this one, than trying to spread yourself too thin to a few ones and in the end, neither of them is able to feel your love enough

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Thanks for all the support. Shirley has more or less gotten over the loss. Or that's what I hope as she asked me to go back to work.

May be posting some updates on what happened. Basically I have discovered that I actually like to cook...

[Sen5eS]

Originally Posted by EnigmaofSorrow

Thanks for all the support. Shirley has more or less gotten over the loss. Or that's what I hope as she asked me to go back to work.

May be posting some updates on what happened. Basically I have discovered that I actually like to cook...

Well ... going down the domestic route for a change ? Hope you're not going Gordon Ramsey BEEP BEEP BEEP f$%king bonkers ... lookin fwd to your updates.

It's probably still a fresh wound and takes time to heal ...

[FirstTimeUser]

Originally Posted by EnigmaofSorrow

Thanks for all the support. Shirley has more or less gotten over the loss. Or that's what I hope as she asked me to go back to work.

May be posting some updates on what happened. Basically I have discovered that I actually like to cook...

Great to hear that she's fine. I guess since you've already applied for leave, just continue accompanying her and hone your cooking skills. Unless she finds you a pest of course..

Would definitely like to see the updates if possible. Cheers..

[ravendanish]

Bro.....have been reading your threat from beginning till now...love it bro..been a best threat I have read so far....

[callmebad]

you like cooking?
maybe next time you will share your cooking experience also?

[blade]

It a sad thing to hear that a little life is lost. no matter who fathered the kid. it would still be a large blow on the mom.

Good to hear that shirley is fine now. but Diane still not to be found? I thought she would at least come over to take care of her friend as well?

take care of her well~ think she will be emotionally unstable for awhile.

[curiouslala]

I spent days reading this thread..
Such a great stories and experiences that you share..

I wish all the best for you and shirley..
Hope she can recover soon..

Waiting for your next update..

[Kenneleon]

Woah..finally finished all 60pages..t'would be boring to repeat things like "great story","good writing" and other generic words

Bro enigma, as exciting/sexiting your story was,its pretty f up too.but thats what makes a story interesting.not to analyse nor pass any judgements,but u do realize that the r/s between your dad,mum & sis shaped what you are today and in fact the reason for fear of commitment.

Had all been documented here like a diary all facts and not mere stories..this rough patch would have helped u see more clearly.

Regardlessly,do hope to see updates from you.had been a great journey through these 60 pages.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

Unknowingly, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awakened by the sound of weeping in close proximity. On another day, I would have assumed that the house was haunted. But I knew that this was not the case. I opened my eyes and sat up. Shirley was sitting on the single-seater couch, hugging her legs to her chest, sobbing. I went over to her and knelt down in front of her.

Me: Are you ok?

S: My baby... It's gone...

Great. What was I supposed to say now?

Me: Er. It's ok. Such things happen.

S: Why me?

Me: Maybe it's for the best?

S: But my baby!!!

I tried to hug her but she pushed me away.

S: It's not even yours you won't understand! Get out! Get out of my house!

Me: Erm.

S: OUT!

I picked up my handphone, wallet and keys and headed to the door.

Me: Let me know when it's ok to come back.

S: OUT!!!

I shut the door behind me.

Just great. I knew I was not supposed to leave her alone, but I guess I had to listen to her and do whatever she asked me to do. Maybe in a few hours she would simmer down and I could go back.

I headed to the lift and went downstairs, lighting a cigarette as I stepped out. I dialled Diane.

D: Yes bastard. It's late. What do you want?

Me: She lost the baby.

D: Oh? You must be damn happy.

Me: What the fuck? I called you because I need help and you make fun of me? You stupid bitch.

D: You never wanted her to keep it anyway.

Me: That's not the point.

D: Then? At least now you can start over.

Me: Can you come over and be with her? She chased me out of the house.

D: Nope.

Me: Why?

D: I'm flying to Japan for a holiday.

Me: When will you be back?

D: Why does it matter?

Me: You're her best friend.

D: She'll understand.

Me: I sure hope so. So what do I do now?

D: Hang around. Wait until she cries herself to sleep. Or something. Then go back.

Me: Your advice is like no advice.

D: Take it or leave it. I'll see her when I'm back. In the meantime, do what you have to. You don't need me to teach you.

Me: Whatever.

D: You're a fucking idiot.

Me: You too.

Then she hung up. So much for being a best friend.

I walked around in circles before heading to my car. As I sat in it with the engine running, I pondered on my next move. I called Jenny. She answered sleepily.

Me: Jen? She lost the baby. What do I do?

J: Huh? Er. Why call me?

Me: I don't know what to do.

J: Be with her? Make sure she doesn't do anything funny? Where are you now?

Me: In my car.

J: What are you doing there? Go back to her!

Me: She chased me out.

J: Why?

Me: I don't know.

J: Has it occurred to you that maybe she didn't mean what she said?

Me: Yeah.

J: Then go back.

Me: She might not want me there.

J: Then hang around somewhere.

Me: Can I come find you?

J: What for?

Me: I don't know. I'm at a loss.

J: Just go back. Be there whether she wants you or not.

Me: Maybe she needs a girl to talk to?

J: And you called me? That's not very wise. Just hang around. Pretend it's very bad PMS. And even if I could go down I wouldn't. It's not right. But I can't anyway. I've to work tomorrow.

Me: Erm. Ok. Thanks anyway.

J: Just be a nice person. You know you can. Bye.

Me: Bye.

I considered calling Jason but he probably would not know what to do anyway.

Then I remembered that the cookbook and notes my stepmom had prepared for me were still in my car. I drove to the 24hr NTUC and went in, buying all the things needed for whatever nourishing dishes that I was supposed to cook. And yet that provided another problem, I could hardly cook anything other than instant noodles and deep fried stuff. I was more at ease at barbecues. And now, somehow or another, I was supposed to transform into a Chinese cuisine chef.

I guess the next week was going to be tough.

Over the weekend and up till Thursday, when I was "forced" by Shirley to go back to work, I whipped up so many so-called nutritious dishes that even Shirley was surprised. I surprised myself as well, as I had never gone beyond cooking instant noodles and maybe deep fried food, and barbecues of course.

Shirley seemed to be getting better. But I really could not tell. We watched movies on tv and caught a few of the Euro 2012 matches, when she stayed awake to watch them, no doubt because of Ronaldo and Torres and whoever girls found handsome.

Nicole actually asked me out that weekend but I had to decline as I wanted to be around for Shirley. However, I did meet up with her the next weekend, just before school started for her. But that's another update for another time. There was also a surprise visit from an unexpected visitor, but again, that will be another update.

Presently, I'm back at work, but going back everyday to check on Shirley. I no longer cook all three meals for her, only dinner, which is usually quite late depending on the time I reach home.

I also found out why my CSM was so nice to me, giving me off-in-lieu instead of making me consume my annual leave. He had been in a similar situation when he was around my age. Only difference is the lady is now his ex-wife as he was not around to be with her when she miscarried. I had a nice long chat with him and needless to say he was a little surprised when he found out that the baby was not mine. But nonetheless he gave me his two cents worth and advised me never to give up on a good thing. He told me he never recovered from his divorce and has not dated since. Maybe I should get Alex to bring him to go clubbing. Or maybe not.

And as one of the readers has pointed out correctly, I am who I am because of my family background. I never wanted to admit it but I guess since it's already been deduced, I might as well agree.

I guess the next update will be on Nicole and the surprise
visit, unless other interesting things happen. The bitch Diane is still in Japan, and there's no indication when she will be back. Shirley never asked for her though. Jenny's still not inclined to come over and befriend Shirley.

At least the past week or so has been rather interesting.

Stay tuned.

[SharkAttack]

Bro, words of wisdom are most appreciated ( in my case ) if they come from ppl who went through similar life experiences who either turn out to be the most regretable or best decision in their life.

Thats what i learn from your sharing n other bro/sis comments.

[EnigmaofSorrow]

It was late morning on Saturday and I was preparing lunch for Shirley. I was making black chicken herbal soup, stir-fried marmite pork ribs and some mixed vegetable stew. Shirley had gone back to bed after breakfast and I was preparing the ingredients after playing Diablo for awhile.

I had just set the soup to boil on low heat and was about to start on the pork ribs when the doorbell rang.

I answered the door and saw two kids, both girls, standing there. The older one probably around 5 or 6 and the younger one around 3 or 4. I was wondering how they were able to press the doorbell when I saw her. The lady who I presumed was the kids mother.

She stood there, back turned towards me, dressed in denim shorts and a fitting polo tee. Her streaked blonde hair was tied in a pony-tail and what looked like aviator shades were perched on the top of her head. She took a long drag from the lit cigarette and flicked the ash over the ledge. I opened the gate and stepped out.

Me: Hey. Smoking is bad for the kids.

She turned around, and I almost could not recognize her. It was a very long time since the last I saw her. I knew she was married but I did not know that she had kids.

Her face was still sweet as I remembered, her skin still flawless. Her body betrayed the fact that she had kids, and two at that.

She flicked the lit cigarette over the ledge, came towards me and pulled me in for a hug. I recalled the times when she used to hug me. I felt safe, comforted, protected.

Older kid: Mommy? Why are you hugging the uncle?

What the hell. I did not know I was old enough to be considered and uncle, and yet the little monster was not wrong. The younger one tugged at my berms.

Younger kid: Let go of my mommy!

She released me from the hug, squatted down and gathered the kids towards her.

Mother: Girls, say hello to your uncle.

Girls: Hello uncle!

Me: Hello!

I turned to her.

Me: Wah lau eh. I'm not even 30 yet.

Mother: Well, you definitely can't deny you are their uncle.

My long-lost sister, whom I had not seen since she left more than 10 years ago, had suddenly appeared at my doorstep.

Me: How did you find me?

Sis: Mom called.

Me: Mom or step mom?

Sis: Have you even heard from our real mother in the past 25 years??? I think she's dead.

Me: Right. But wait a min. Mom doesn't know exactly where I'm at.

Sis: Andrew asked around. There's this girl called Jenny? I think he asked her.

Me: Jenny doesn't know where I'm at either. The actual address anyway.

Sis: Whatever.

Me: So why are you here?

Sis: Thought I'll come and say hello.

Me: You know what happened right?

Sis: More or less.

Me: And you still brought your kids over??

Sis: Other people's kids won't affect the grieving mother. Babies might though.

I glanced over at the sofa where the two kids had somehow invited themselves into the house and made themselves at home.

Me: Err...

Sis: Aren't you gonna invite me in?

Me: Yeah.

She entered and sat on the sofa with her girls.

I turned on the TV.

Me: Entertain yourselves ok? I'm cooking.

Sis: You're what?

Me: Cooking.

Sis: Haha! Since when did you know how to cook?

Me: I had to learn.

Sis: Oh good. Does that mean I get to sample your dishes?

Me: I suppose I could make a bigger portion...

Sis: Ok!

I excused myself and went to Shirley's room, gently rousing her from her sleep.

Me: Hey... Erm. My sister is here.

S: Huh? Your sister?

Me: My real sister. So technically it's your god-sister.

S: Huh? Why's she here?

Me: I don't know. But she brought your god-nieces here.

Shirley looked as though she was about to cry, but she held back her tears. Or maybe I was beig overly sensitive.

S: Oh.

Me: You're ok right?

S: Yeah. Just not dressed.

Me: You don't have to go out if you don't want to. I'll bring your lunch in.

S: No. It's ok. Give me awhile.

Me: You sure?

S: Yeah.

Me: Ok. I'll need to start cooking then, otherwise we'll be eating dinner instead of lunch.

I left her to get dressed and headed back to the kitchen. My sister was peering into the pot.

Sis: Needs more salt.

Me: It's still boiling la. I'll taste it again later. And since when did you learn how to cook?

Sis: When you have kids it's second nature.

I started cutting up the pork ribs.

Me: So where have you been all these years?

Sis: Well, I got married.

Me: Er. Yeah. Otherwise where did the kids come from?

Sis: Funny.

Me: Extremely. So you're not working? So free the visit me?

Sis: It's the weekend. And let's just say my husband is a very nice man.

Me: So you're a rich tai tai now?

Sis: Not really.

Me: Meaning?

Sis: I have the resources but don't live the lifestyle.

I guessed our humble upbringing and fucked up childhood made her a sensible person.

Me: So you're a full-time housewife?

Sis: Sort of.

Me: You're speaking in code.

Sis: I haven't lived here for the past 10 years.

Me: Then?

Sis: The nature of my husbands business means we travel a lot. I've been to Spain, England, Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, China, and most of the ASEAN countries.

Me: So how come your kids don't have weird accents?

Sis: Because I don't let them? Do you hear me speaking with a strange accent?

Me: Nope.

Sis: I'm still a Singaporean, so is my husband. So where better than to raise our kids?

Me: True.

Sis: So he decided to move back here and start his own firm.

Me: You brought the kids to see their grandfather yet?

Sis: Nope. Don't intend to. But they've seen their step-uncles. And step-grandmother.

Me: So now you decided to come see me?

Sis: Well, you're the only one left...

Me: After leaving me to fend for myself all these years.

Sis: Oh come on. You're a guy. And by the looks of it, a pretty fit and strong one now. Besides, you were the one protecting me when we got older. And, I wanna see the girl who managed to domesticate you!

Me: Very funny.

Sis: Well?

Me: Well what?

Sis: Are wedding bells on the cards?

Me: Siao.

Sis: Why? Because it wasn't your kid? Then why are you here? Cooking even?

Me: Good question.

Sis: So what's the answer.

Me: I don't know.

I heard the girls greeting Shirley as she stepped out. Strangely, they called her 姐姐 instead of auntie.

Shirley stepped into the kitchen. My sister gave her a hug.

Sis: Hope you're feeling better.

S: Thanks. Your kids are really cute.

My sister then did the stupid act cute thing where she flashed the v-sign next to her face.

Sis: That's cos I'm cute too!

I almost choked. Shirley laughed. And to think my sister is in her mid-thirties and yet still acting cute.

Sis: Well, let's not disturb your husband while he's cooking.

Shirley blushed visibly as they both exited the kitchen. She turned back and gave me a shy smile. I smiled back.

I finished cooking roughly an hour later and we all sat down to eat. I had made an additional omelette dish to supplement the rest of the dishes. Luckily there was still some ice cream in the freezer and we had that for dessert.

Shirley spent the rest of the day chatting with my sister and playing with the two kids while I listened rather disinterestedly. Apparently my sister had five miscarriages before she had her first kid, so she told Shirley not to give up hope. I excused myself when the discussion started getting a little to feminine for my liking and went to slaughter demons in inferno mode.

Close to dinner time, I invited my sister and her kids to stay but she declined as her husband was about to arrive. I walked them downstairs and bade them goodbye as the BMW 7-series pulled into the drop-off point. I acknowledged her husband as my sister gave me one last hug.

Sis: Take good care of her. We all need to settle down one day.

And then she left.

As I watched the BMW pull away, I wondered if I would even get to see her again.

I headed back up and prepared dinner for Shirley. She came up and hugged me from behind.

S: Your sis is really nice. And her kids are cute...

Me: Yeah.

S: Do you think our kids will be cute too?

I almost sliced off my finger.

Me: Erm. Let's not discuss this now.

S: Just kidding. But I'm really grateful that you're here for me now.

Me: Don't mention it. Now please let me cook in peace.

And that was the surprise visit from an unexpected visitor.

[Kenneleon]

Very nice to see an update and the small reference made.

Its great to see a long lost kin isnt it?especially with some additions.
Might be a lil late to say this now,but Shirley must do the full 坐月子 as though she had given birth.miscarriage is draining to the body too.

[Sen5eS]

hehehe interesting updates Hang in there ...

[blade]

yeah interesting~ everything seems to be peaceful now~