Bro help! i screw up big time....

[alwaysandy]

Actually, she must be thinking right now, that if u really love her, u would not have slapped her...slapping her for the first time may be a mistake. and slapping her for 2nd time, is something to make her take greater consideration.

Actually quite true, i mean maybe yr subconcious may not know it, but she may not be as important to u......thats why u would do that to her(something like testing the system).

If u are really love her alot and will get worried she will leave u, u wouldn't even think of doing that.......or are u mainly used to being with her, rather than love her.......

Does she like u more than u like her or otherwise? if u dun love her that much, u may still feel sad even she left, but u will eventually know that thats a better ending after sometimes.

U can think through what landlord have mentioned as i think it make some sense..at the end of the day, if she still love u, she will return to u....

Just my 1cents worth of speech....nothing against anyone....thanks you..

[randyboy73]

Originally Posted by thomas88

Let me say this in fairness.....you've slapped her twice already even before you're married. Mark my words...you'll slap her even more once she's your wife.....The only solution is get her to bring you to seek a psychiatric help in controlling your temper as a sign of your sincerity. That's the only way to regain her confidence in you.

You must learn never never ever lift your finger on a girl regardless of whatever relationship she has with you.

when there is a first time. there will be others... seek help like bro thomas said.. b4 it escalates into something even more severe

[spenceryap]

Hey Bro,

U did screw up. If you are sincere, show her that u want to correct this.

Make a deal with her. U enrol for counselling session and pre-marriage classes with her AND MAKE SURE YOU STICK TO THE END OF THE COURSE. Her part, to give you a chance and dont tell her parents. If she is happy and can see that you are calmer, then marry u.

As a husband myself, there are many times that I wanted to do jus that. Sometimes the wife jus cant stop nagging and sometimes they just sound and do stupid things. I learn to back off by moving yourself from the scene. Cool down think it over then come back to talk. There should also be an agreement that should a situation similar to your arises again, that both party should back away, become level headed and cool. And then address the issue.

I know its easire said then done. But all relationship takes effort on both parties to make it work.

U decide.

Some places you can go to:

AWARE (angry women who will eat you up and chew you out)
Counselling family and care ---at Hong Lim Complex---Check my buddy Anthony--he is the best with this sort of problems.
MCYS- Dhoby Ghaut-- They prepare couples before the big commitment
Counsellors are on hand too.

[raymondle80]

You have an anger management issue. And the sad thing is that it will happen again, I know this as I have friend and family like this.
I am sorry to say that you might have stepped over the line, and what some brothers have said here, it is the 2nd time. It will also be right for her to cancel the marriage or at least delay it until you sort out your problems, and again it should be reminded that if she decides not to go along with the plans, you cannot blame her.
If I were to give some advice on physical rage, just imagine how you would feel if someone slapped you, then perhaps you would never think or attempt to do that to anyone, much less your girlfriend or wife.

I am sorry man, I am sure you are personally not a bad person at all as you can reflect on yourself after the act, but sometimes regret comes too late, so do something about it before it happens, cheers.

[Sha_Gua75]

I hate Guy Who Slap Or Beat Girls....

[cheong_man]

Originally Posted by Landlord

....Once you are married and you have settled down...meaning you are no longer passionate and making less effort to please your wife. You will start being one. ...

Bro Lanlord, I agree to your points. And to Bro justwanadoit, if you want your marriage to last, it would takes more then endurances, stay away from family violence else you may reach a stage of no-return unknowingly.

Originally Posted by Sha_Gua75

I hate Guy Who Slap Or Beat Girls....

Whether it is Guys or Gals, we should not have any family violence, as all have the rights to live in peace.

[Lubber]

Bro justwannadoit, get her close / best friend to meet up with her,then on the place of meeting you replace her friend,from then onwards is up to you liao.If she walks away,grab her hand and stop her from doing so,from this point onwards be sincere and dont cock up. You know? Like some movie scenes? Might be of help to you. Maybe i watched too many movies liao.

[Newbie82]

Wah paing bro... u really need some professional help... how in the world can you bring yourself to slap a female.... I agree with Landlord as a wife beater may not necessary have a bad temper but most that I know of do... It is indeed a vicious cycle that will never stop manz.. once you start.. it will lead to the next one and before you know it.. it's a black hole... the darn good thing outta this is that you are actually feeling guilty... still got some hope. Best take Landlord's advise and seek help. As for ur fiance... i'd say let things cool off now and postponing the wedding would be a good idea for now. The only way to mend this is just 1 keyword sincerity... no point talking the talk and not doing the walk... prove it with actions and just maybe you might be able to salvage this

[soundworks]

[QUOTE=Sha_Gua75;1818089]Bro, relax lah, he already remorseful. I always believe in giving ppl second chance.

[Newbie82]

well done leh... give opinion also tio zap... if u don't like what I say can bloody ignore, I only giving u cold hard advise rather then paint u false picture. ridiculous pple =.= who the fuck who zap me.. use your brain to think a bit lah... postpone wedding is for both of them to cool down and u think what after u slap ur gf immediate she forgive and all wipe clean ah. I quote "i screw up big time by slapping her in the heat of the arguement. Her gum bleed a bit. I immediately apologised and i know i really screw up for not controlling my rage. Now my gf have doubts about my character as this is 2nd time i slap her. " and I quote again "she is now scared and worried i am a wife beater." who ever the damm zapper u got read the full thing or not... you think wedding able to proceed smoothly now? Sure~~can fucking force it through but the root of problem not solve it will end up worse... besides as I said in my earlier post... to salvage this relationship still got chance.. but it's not gonna be easy and it's gonna be time consuming... You think what homework ah.. use liquid paper can wipe clean ah... this kind of thing u need time to convince pple you change and postponing the wedding is just showing her that she is right in her concerns and you are willing to respect her thoughts... knnz I echo landlord views also tio zap... newbie fucking good to bully ah... to whoever zap me go zap landlord as well lah knnz, you either got no brain to look at it objectively or you too fucking lazy to use your brain... damm pissed off

[hehfun]

1. let's say you are right that you are not a wife beater, but you did hit her when you anger build up. (twice)

2. Its your character, can't be help. UNLESS some major crisis that will make you change for the better, you will continue with you actions again.

3. Going for counselling is a good start.

good luck





the follow words are my thoughts;
why we slap gals.

1. cb cheat our money and feeling on purpose.

2. Two timing us, make use of us when she already have another bf.

3. Like to hit you (don be shock, some woman does that)

4. Obsess with branded items (not a big crime) but keep asking you to buy them (if you are rich ok lah), or else call you a miser.

5. Addicted to gambling. Gamble our and children money away, not taking care of the family.

6. Look down on us when we did nothing wrong
(givin you the sneer expression)
keeps putting you down infront of your/her friends
(always saying you are useless for nothing when you have tried many times to please her)

Yet even if the above happens, it is still NOT (sigh..) a reason to hit them,
even thou they very much deserve it.
There can be legal causes against us.

Just stay far away from them and find another fish in the ocean.

(just my thoughts ah... no need to agree with it)

[yankim3]

u got a tendency to not being able to control your temper and slap her. and it happen a second time. if after the first time can u cannot control to slap her a second time. what makes u think that u wun be a wife beater after your marriage. it shows that u are not able to control your temper, i mean cannot blame her to think it that way also. she also has to think of herself, who dun wan a happie marriage.

i quote an example. if, now i say if your gf and wife to be like to sleep around. im quoting this cos this is the thing man most hate to happen. and first time was caught by u, she promised to change her way cos she love u very much, and tells u that u are the man she wan to spend the rest of her life with. and again it happen a second time and was caught by u again. will u forgive and trust her fully again?

its not easy to control ones temper. a little thing might spike u off. heavy workload, shes gonna work OT. your newborn child. i can almost garanty that u will slap her again. temper this thing. we can nev help u to control it. now u are cool in the head and what we advise goes in. but once u lose your head again. all these advise vanished instantly. and the only thing on your mind is to slap her again.

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

i personally despise guys who hit gals so gd luck to u.

[alwaysandy]

Originally Posted by Shuang_Jie_Gun

i personally despise guys who hit gals so gd luck to u.

Ya la...but everyone make their mistake........but this is confirm not only a moment of folly........what matters now is whether his gf can forgive him......or else he can try to don't take it so hard liao..........

when gals start to harden their heart, can get quite mean....thats what happen to myself b4(i mean turn mean to me)....when i think back, i feel it's a good thing when we are really not suitable....

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

Originally Posted by alwaysandy

Ya la...but everyone make their mistake........but this is confirm not only a moment of folly........what matters now is whether his gf can forgive him......or else he can try to don't take it so hard liao..........

when gals start to harden their heart, can get quite mean....thats what happen to myself b4(i mean turn mean to me)....when i think back, i feel it's a good thing when we are really not suitable....

maybe y i feel so strongly abt this is bcos my last ex-gf of 3 yrs got married to this guy after breaking up with me and he actually hit her on a few occasions,upon hearing it drives me to the wall.How gd can a guy be who hit gers?Absolutely no excuse or whatsoever.