Hey Bros, need some legal advice here

[gooner8]

Hi bro stud,
you don't have much to worry, just pay her the monthly amounts. Hers is just a empty threat in the heat of the moment.

First of all, when she lent you the $10,000, can she prove the payment to you eg. Bank Transfer. You need to keep the record of your payments to her though.

And anyways, she is not a licensed moneylender and hence she is no better than ah-long lolz.

My friend was conned by his friend through a loan and when my friend threathen to take legal action against that bugger, he laughed it off and ask my friend to go ahead. When you lend money, mostly it won't come back.

[closetspacefull]

Actually if there is a written contract it can be legally enforced and the onus is on the individual who borrowed the money to indicate with proof how much of the money has been returned. Loansharking issues only apply if there was an unreasonable amount of interest attached to the loan. In fact, if she wins in small claims court (where she just needs to fill paperwork and does not have to involve an expensive lawyer), I believe the money can be extracted directly from your bank accounts.

Bro, borrow money from girlfriend...? And then break up with her, while still owing her money...? Sigh...

Sell your car, or laptop or something lah. Dignity is a lot more important than a few dollars. Borrow if you have to...

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by Stud00

....i have only signed a hand written piece of "IOU" on a paper saying i would pay her back by nov 2010. thats the only paper that i signed.
Can she take legal action against me?
Where do i stand legally?.

Probably, yes. The fact that it is handwritten on a piece of paper is not that important. What is important is that all the key terms of the agreement are on the piece of paper, and that it is signed by someone with authority to legally bind the agreement. For IOUs, one thing that may be problematic if the piece of paper does not seem to state when the money is payable. The small claims court may interpret the paper as a Demand Promissory Note - i.e. payable on demand. On the other hand, the small claims court may want to hear oral testimony as to when it was payable, and what was the intent of the parties, and in that case it would have to make a determination as to which side was more believable as to when the money was due. But all this taken into consideration, the piece of paper agreement should hold up.

In your case, it' really depend what was agreed and written between the 2 of you, beside to settle full by Nov 2010. Meanwhile, just continue to make your regular repayment to your ex girlfriend and try to talk to her reasonbly, do not escalate the present hostilities. Just my 2 cent worth opinion, best to seek assistance/advice from a legal professional if you need assurances of peace of mind or the threat becomes an action

Advice to all Bros/Sis when giving a loan, if you are really serious about getting it back, you should insist that the borrower write an IOU note and even a few post-dated cheques.

An IOU note should reads:

I (name) (NRIC number) of (address) (contact numbers) acknowledge receipt of the sum of S$__ being a friendly interest-free loan given to me, at my request, by my friend, (name) (NRIC number) of (address) today, by way of (bank's name) cheque no. __ dated __ .

I promise to repay this sum in full to him/her by (stipulated date of repayment).

Dated this __ day of __ (month) 2010.

The IOU note should bear a witness' signature, name, NRIC number, address and contact number.

If the repayment does not happen, the note has a limited shelf life. Lenders have to make a claim for repayment within six years from the stipulated repayment date, otherwise you lose your right for a claim.

If the IOU does not stipulate a repayment date, the six-year period starts running when you demand repayment

At the end of the day, we have to make a judgment call based on how close we are to the borrower and his/her reasons for borrowing.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by gooner8

....When you lend money, mostly it won't come back.

IMHO, If you choose to make a loan for whatever reason, mentally write it off. 'Treat it as a gift. If you chase after the debt, you will feel animosity when the repayment is not forthcoming,' If the borrower is a relative, or someone whom you just do not have the heart to say 'NO' to, you can offer to help out in other ways such as paying for his children's school fees and pocket money, or certain household expenses. Some people do have a genuine desire to return money they owe and they keep you updated on their financial ability to do so. Eventually, they get around to repaying, and are eternally grateful that you bailed them out. They are few and far between, though.

[closetspacefull]

Just curious, do you guys feel the poster is a complete douche or is it just me?

He borrowed 10k from his old girlfriend. Now, I won't go into the whole thing of borrowing money from a girlfriend, or question his manhood, but then he ditches the girl and whines about her asking for the money back.

Of course the girl gets mad. She's probably fully trusted him given the size of the loan (especially since Threadstarter doesn't strike me as the person to whom 10k is peanuts and neither does his ex). His swift rebound into the arms of another girl who "he really loves?" must be like adding fuel to the flame. Its must be difficult for her to understand him crying poor while he spends money going on dates with his new gal pal.

He calls his ex "bitchy" in the post, for chasing him to return money that she loaned him out of the kindness of her own heart. I understand that 5000 is a large sum of money to some, especially if he's young or has poor prospects, but it really seems a stretch that he can't pay it off in 2-3 months if he was really motivated. I'm sure he has a computer, a tv or some other items he can pawn if he really wanted to and hopefully he's gainfully employed.

I don't know, threadstarter just seems very low class to me. Like they said, money sometimes makes the true colors of a person show. I certainly wouldn't like to count someone like TS as a friend. Would you?

Flame away!

[chixsticks]

Originally Posted by Stud00

Hey Bros,

Just wanna get some stuff off my chest and hopefully, i would be able to get some constructive advice from the bros here. Please do not flame me!

My Ex and i were in a relationship for about 10 months, but we broked off a few months ago due to personality clashes.
In this 10 months, She loaned me a sum of money, $10K to be exact. which on the agreement that i pay her back by installments, Which i have been doing faithfully.

But just recently, i got attached with a new gf, and my ex blew her top, threatened me emotionally, curse and swear and stuff, and she demands her full payment back immediately..around $5000 to be exact, if not she would take me to court and take legal action against me.

Bros, i am not a millionaire and i don't earn much cash, and for me, i can't cough out that kind of money. It's just too sudden, and previously she has tried to ask me to patch back with her but i refused as i felt that we can never work things out as shes too hot tempered and materistic.. bitchy for short la. personally, i just feel that she's unhappy that i got attached after 6monthS? and she just wants to make life miserable for me.

Bros, i am desperate, it's not that i don't wanna pay her. And i am paying her by installments but to cough out $5000.. its almost impossible! I do not believe in getting into another debt to pay her.
would need your advice.. to date, i have only signed a hand written piece of "IOU" on a paper saying i would pay her back by nov 2010. thats the only paper that i signed.
Can she take legal action against me?
Where do i stand legally?
What would you guys suggest?
I am really in love with my current gf and i feel darn emotionally blackmailed.

If there are any bros that are practising lawyers in here, i would sincerely appreciate if you could drop me a pm.

thanks for the constructive input bros.

[QUOTE=closetspacefull;4478767]Just curious, do you guys feel the poster is a complete douche or is it just me?

He borrowed 10k from his old girlfriend. Now, I won't go into the whole thing of borrowing money from a girlfriend, or question his manhood, but then he ditches the girl and whines about her asking for the money back.

Of course the girl gets mad. She's probably fully trusted him given the size of the loan (especially since Threadstarter doesn't strike me as the person to whom 10k is peanuts and neither does his ex). His swift rebound into the arms of another girl who "he really loves?" must be like adding fuel to the flame. Its must be difficult for her to understand him crying poor while he spends money going on dates with his new gal pal.

He calls his ex "bitchy" in the post, for chasing him to return money that she loaned him out of the kindness of her own heart. I understand that 5000 is a large sum of money to some, especially if he's young or has poor prospects, but it really seems a stretch that he can't pay it off in 2-3 months if he was really motivated. I'm sure he has a computer, a tv or some other items he can pawn if he really wanted to and hopefully he's gainfully employed.

I don't know, threadstarter just seems very low class to me. Like they said, money sometimes makes the true colors of a person show. I certainly wouldn't like to count someone like TS as a friend. Would you?

Flame away![/QUOTE]

Bro Closetspaceful, totally agree!

TS, who cares what your personal beliefs are. Did you care if your ex believes in lending her bfs money for that matter, when you first asked for the loan? Be a man, she wants her money back, go find it! rather then spend time finding another gf!

You feeling emotionally blackmailed?? Com'on, has it ever occurred to you she could very well have felt EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILED into lending you the money in the first place???

good thing you neither rich nor powerful....if you were, you would most certainly be one who attempts legal loopholes...for your own gain...why bother asking bros if your ex has a case against you...even is she legally powerless against you, shouldn't you attempt to accelerate the repayment?

bro closetspaceful, how to flame huh?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I guess it all boils down to 2 thing.
1. Credibility>> TS borrowed $$$ from her whist together and she prolly lent him for obvious reasons...cos then he was her man and he SAID he'll pay back
2. Integrity>>Money he got, now not together anymore & she's got every god given rite to ask him back for it, guess it's time to see whether this guy can keep his word of repaying.

At the end of the day, i think we all know whether he's gonna pay her back or just treat it as pure bonus liao

[see see only]

Hi TS,

In this world, anyone can throw anyone to court as long they have the money

It is only win, lose or whatever happen .... nothing serious

My ex OC agreed with me to offset the loan (almost $100k) i given to her parents from the monthly maintenances, can still throw me to court after 2 years, claiming that i did not give her maintenance ... for 2 years

I defended myself without lawyer, just facts, in court - No black & white in the agreement but She lost ... because i have been emailing her the loan balance of her parent's loan every month showing how i offset the parent loan with the monthly maintenance. Case may be different but just do your homework.

Anyway as long as you can proof that you have repay her monthly without fail ... generally she can still throw you to court but she cant do much changes

Just relax ... TS

[JazzMaxim]

Hmm ... I wonder if she issue an IOU does that mean she is a loanshark?

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Bro JazzMaxim, Nope. Being in a relationship, doesn’t mean one is "entitled" to borrow money from a boy/girlfriend or not paying back after the relationship ended.

[Stud00]

Originally Posted by Shoot To Target

Bro Stud00, i believe u understand her more than anyone of us here. Whether she will take legal action or not, u should be more clear than us. I hate local gals just bcos they r born like tat n always like to turn nasty wen relationship turns ugly. Wat to do, tis is their nature way.

Bro.. yesh.. shes like freaking 5 years older then me but she behaves like a bloody young gal. GOD!!! i am thankful i ended it with her!
YOu guys won't believe what she did to me man!!
Gosh!!

[Stud00]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

I guess it all boils down to 2 thing.
1. Credibility>> TS borrowed $$$ from her whist together and she prolly lent him for obvious reasons...cos then he was her man and he SAID he'll pay back
2. Integrity>>Money he got, now not together anymore & she's got every god given rite to ask him back for it, guess it's time to see whether this guy can keep his word of repaying.

At the end of the day, i think we all know whether he's gonna pay her back or just treat it as pure bonus liao

Ehh bro,
I just wana clarify..
i have been paying her back by installments as agreed. and just for your information, i am $1000 ahead of schedule. I do not wish to own her any longer then neccessary.
It's a drag. and i am not someone who takes cash from a person without paying her back. I just don't like being blackmailed emotionally. maybe someday IF you are in my shoes, u would understand.

Cheers

[Stud00]

Originally Posted by closetspacefull

Just curious, do you guys feel the poster is a complete douche or is it just me?

He borrowed 10k from his old girlfriend. Now, I won't go into the whole thing of borrowing money from a girlfriend, or question his manhood, but then he ditches the girl and whines about her asking for the money back.

Of course the girl gets mad. She's probably fully trusted him given the size of the loan (especially since Threadstarter doesn't strike me as the person to whom 10k is peanuts and neither does his ex). His swift rebound into the arms of another girl who "he really loves?" must be like adding fuel to the flame. Its must be difficult for her to understand him crying poor while he spends money going on dates with his new gal pal.

He calls his ex "bitchy" in the post, for chasing him to return money that she loaned him out of the kindness of her own heart. I understand that 5000 is a large sum of money to some, especially if he's young or has poor prospects, but it really seems a stretch that he can't pay it off in 2-3 months if he was really motivated. I'm sure he has a computer, a tv or some other items he can pawn if he really wanted to and hopefully he's gainfully employed.

I don't know, threadstarter just seems very low class to me. Like they said, money sometimes makes the true colors of a person show. I certainly wouldn't like to count someone like TS as a friend. Would you?

Flame away!

Hi there,
i presume that you are a bro, but you could be a sister on the other hand.

you are not in my shoes and you do not know the reasons leading to the break-up. I am able to share openly in this forum because noone here knows who i am or what i do.
I am merely someone thats taking a normal wage of $1700 dollars.. She's older then me by 5 years.

when i was with her, i tried my very best, but maybe she's running out of shelf life.. keep pushing me for marriage. but i am not ready. keep nagging at me and comparing me to her male friends who are definitely much more established then me. i can't even fucking be myself when i am with her. What would you have done if you are in my shoes?

Being bitchy? yes she is bitchy.. i won't go into details about what she has done. but she bitchy enough to bed my sister's boyfriend for revenge.. hassle my parents to repay her? threatened other things?

We fucking broked off as adults, and she agreed. and she suggest to me: " why don't you pay me back by installments, i don't want you to pay me lump sums, scared you don't have any money for urself."

Maybe someday you would be in my shoes, when everyday with her, is just quarreling, insults, comparing with others and stuff, then hopefully you would remember how "self righteous" you were in condemning me in this thread.

Can't i move on with my life? is it that unfair?

Ask yourself before being so trigger happy with your fucking words and the same goes for chixsticks.. you guys are so darn fucking self-righteous.

And if the both of you are so darn morally right, what the fuck are you doing in this forum? blardy hyprocrites!

And for the last time, if you are not sure about the details, don't assume..

[Stud00]

To all Bros:

Thanks for contributing.

I do feel encouraged after reading your comments.

Rest assured that i would try to repay her asap and get her off my back.

I have been totally transparent with my current gf and she's supportive, and she has heard the voice logs and even read the sms between us.

Hope that it passes quickly.

And for the benefit of doubt to some bros.
I just wanna share that.

1) She loaned me the amount in Oct-Sept 09

2) We ended it in Nov 09 after a heaty quarrel.

3) To date, i have paid her $5240 to be exact, and i am only earning $1700 plus plus per month. And i am really trying my best to clear it asap.

So bros, before you start another accusation on me, please please please read carefully!

[Stud00]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Bro JazzMaxim, Nope. Being in a relationship, doesn’t mean one is "entitled" to borrow money from a boy/girlfriend or not paying back after the relationship ended.

Bros..
don't get me wrong.
i wanna pay her back! but its just that i don't have the lump sum of money to pay her back one shot when the agreement was by installments!

And FYI, i initiated the IOU.