Divorce settlement data - WC education thread

[wujigege]

Hi all, thought I start a thread about this since it is becoming common. Wondering if fellow samsters can share about their divorce settlement data. I saw a lawyer myself, and while WC applies in Singapore, the lawyer also mentioned that when it comes to division of assets, it is not as simple as taking the husband’s assets and divide it by two. Basically, the marital assets of both wife and husband are added up and divided from there. Wanted to dispel some myths (and fears) of WC. Would be helpful if divorced bros could share their experiences under these fields:

Length of marriage:
Number of kids:
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?
Custody of kids: (under wife or husband)
Monthly maintenance:
Mode: contested divorce or uncontested
Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife)

[JacqueMerlin]

Hi all, thought I start a thread about this since it is becoming common. Wondering if fellow samsters can share about their divorce settlement data. I saw a lawyer myself, and while WC applies in Singapore, the lawyer also mentioned that when it comes to division of assets, it is not as simple as taking the husband’s assets and divide it by two. Basically, the marital assets of both wife and husband are added up and divided from there. Wanted to dispel some myths (and fears) of WC. Would be helpful if divorced bros could share their experiences under these fields:

Length of marriage:
Number of kids:
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?
Custody of kids: (under wife or husband)
Monthly maintenance:
Mode: contested divorce or uncontested
Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife)


Length of marriage: >10 years
Number of kids: 0, no sex for at least 7 years before divorce.
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?: yes. 7k range i make lesser but i pay for all the bills at home so she was able to use this as reason to maintain her lifestyle after divorce with the WC.
Custody of kids: (under wife or husband) no kids
Monthly maintenance: nil. Came at huge cost with strategy.
Mode: contested divorce or uncontested. Uncontested divorce. Ex wife found new bf in a rush to divorce was more open to lesser demands. Leveraged on this. Paid about 70k to ex wife in cash and shares to prevent her from asking for maintenance. She moved on to her new european bf.
Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife) i lost everything.
Summary: WC very powerful. It doesn't matter if she has an affair or not. WC requires men to pay. But at least I am free from the nightmare now.

[Penguin23]

Length of marriage: 15 years

Number of kids: 2, both under 12

Was wife working when divorce happened? Yes

What salary bracket if so? Roughly $90k/year all-in. I earn about twice that

Custody of kids: (under wife or husband): Joint custody, so she has visitation rights but I have care and control. Ex-wife wanted to set up another family with her new boyfriend as soon as possible, so she effectively walked out on the kids.


Monthly maintenance: NIL (don't believe idiots who never went through a divorce themselves and tell you what WC can ruin you). The law is quite fair.


Mode: contested divorce or uncontested: Uncontested. Key point being - let the other side see that in a contested divorce, only the lawyers win.

Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife): Sold the property then split the proceeds according to the relative proportions that each of us contributed towards the purchase price.

Notes: I did not engage my own lawyer, I basically did up whatever we agreed over whatsapp and forwarded it to her lawyer to draft the agreement and let her sign. Mode of divorce is basically through separation, backdated 3 years. From the initial agreement to divorce to finish (Obtaining final judgement - Decree Nisi) the whole process took less than 6 months and cost me a grand total of $3,000

[iluvbreast]

Hi all, thought I start a thread about this since it is becoming common. Wondering if fellow samsters can share about their divorce settlement data.

Well since you asked, I shall advise:

Length of marriage: < 10 years

Number of kids: 1

Was wife working when divorce happened? Yes

What salary bracket if so? ~ annual salary about 100k

Custody of kids: (under wife or husband): Joint custody (do you even have to ask? it will always be joint unless either side wants to give it up).

Care And Control: (This is the one you should be asking) Child mostly with me, 1 over-night access to the mother (Sat-Sun).

Monthly maintenance: NIL, well she tried very hard (through her lawyer who likes to take the bull by the horns) and laid claims to everything, even those that belong to my family. End of the day, she had to walked away only with her fair share of our matrimonial assets (meaning either she paid for it or I deem to be fair so I don't wish to contest).

Mode: contested divorce or uncontested: Nearly contested, mediation sessions (at family court) failed so proceed with trial. During the pre-trial conference, settled out of court, basically she cited very unfair settlement.

Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife): Sold my share (determined in accordance to the ratio we paid) of the property to my ex-wife.

Your lawyer is correct about 'woman's charter' despite what some samsters here posted, it is actually quite fair. I don't know maybe some of them engage stupid lawyers or lawyers that don't really care.

I was lucky because someone in my side of the family is lawyer so I was recommended my lawyer and I got a free legal counsel.

[JacqueMerlin]

Tips to more advantage on divorce.

1. Let your to be ex wife divorce because she 'wanted to start a new marriage with someone else'. Thus embark on a divorce only because she has found someone new whom she wants to move on to. It will be even better if she's already pregnant with the other man's child. This will shorten her leverage in the divorce due to higher stakes to lose.

2. Be adamant on your claims to assets. With point 1 above in place, she lacks the time and resource to waste on an acrimonious lengthy divorce battle. She will not hold on to the fight as vehemently.

3. Let your to be ex wife find the lawyer. Only the lawyer wins in your divorce. With you making a stand in point 2, she will have to pay more in the divorce procedures. Unless you are talking about millions, it is not worth the effort and resource to fight a divorce battle the money she gets back can't even break even in the short term.

4. Be willing to cut loss. Let go some to avoid maintenance. You can't win a divorce because the WC is very powerful. Try overriding a law casted in stone. The lucky ones that either had point 1 or point 3 in their favour will serve to create the impression that it's a fair game. You only have 1 shot. Miss it and you will be shackled for a long time with the maintenance bills from your ex wife. Remember you can go to jail if you can't pay.

All the best to all who are fighting a divorce.

[iluvbreast]

Tips to more advantage on divorce.

1. Let your to be ex wife divorce because she 'wanted to start a new marriage with someone else'. Thus embark on a divorce only because she has found someone new whom she wants to move on to. It will be even better if she's already pregnant with the other man's child. This will shorten her leverage in the divorce due to higher stakes to lose.

2. Be adamant on your claims to assets. With point 1 above in place, she lacks the time and resource to waste on an acrimonious lengthy divorce battle. She will not hold on to the fight as vehemently.

3. Let your to be ex wife find the lawyer. Only the lawyer wins in your divorce. With you making a stand in point 2, she will have to pay more in the divorce procedures. Unless you are talking about millions, it is not worth the effort and resource to fight a divorce battle the money she gets back can't even break even in the short term.

4. Be willing to cut loss. Let go some to avoid maintenance. You can't win a divorce because the WC is very powerful. Try overriding a law casted in stone. The lucky ones that either had point 1 or point 3 in their favour will serve to create the impression that it's a fair game. You only have 1 shot. Miss it and you will be shackled for a long time with the maintenance bills from your ex wife. Remember you can go to jail if you can't pay.

All the best to all who are fighting a divorce.

No offense bro, but I don't agree, especially on the part about not finding lawyer, while it is true that lawyers make their money from your divorce (and you got to pay them whether you win or lose). They are still the professionals it is akin to seeing doctors when you are sick. You get a good lawyer, the process will be relatively easier.

On who to initiate the divorce, I would say it depends on the circumstances. If there is no 3rd party then what you posted don't work?

On advice of my lawyer (and relative) I initiated the divorce because I was told it was better since I have the initative, I can claim what I want and the other party have to defend. That is after we completed our planning and drafting.

My gf was waiting for me to divorce, I told her, give me 2 years max (lawyer's estimate after she attended the mediation sessions) so we were not in a hurry so we were not pressured. The result was I gotten my marriage disolved within 3 months of filing, and spent the next 6 months fighting over how to divide care & control of my child, matriamonial assets and her maintanence.

I guess your personal experience with the women's charter is not good, but as far as I know, what I experienced was pretty in-line with what many others go through (my relative told me, I have no reason to think otherwise). Hence I don't really think Women's Charter is pretty unfair.

In fact I have recommened 3 of my friends so far to my lawyer, it was a positive experience for them as well.

[JacqueMerlin]

No offense bro, but I don't agree, especially on the part about not finding lawyer, while it is true that lawyers make their money from your divorce (and you got to pay them whether you win or lose). They are still the professionals it is akin to seeing doctors when you are sick. You get a good lawyer, the process will be relatively easier.

On who to initiate the divorce, I would say it depends on the circumstances. If there is no 3rd party then what you posted don't work?

On advice of my lawyer (and relative) I initiated the divorce because I was told it was better since I have the initative, I can claim what I want and the other party have to defend. That is after we completed our planning and drafting.

My gf was waiting for me to divorce, I told her, give me 2 years max (lawyer's estimate after she attended the mediation sessions) so we were not in a hurry so we were not pressured. The result was I gotten my marriage disolved within 3 months of filing, and spent the next 6 months fighting over how to divide care & control of my child, matriamonial assets and her maintanence.

I guess your personal experience with the women's charter is not good, but as far as I know, what I experienced was pretty in-line with what many others go through (my relative told me, I have no reason to think otherwise). Hence I don't really think Women's Charter is pretty unfair.

In fact I have recommened 3 of my friends so far to my lawyer, it was a positive experience for them as well.

You had an easier time with negotiations, I am thankful you didn't have to face the brunt of the WC. The statutory arrangements of the WC is not fair and works against the men. This remains the fundamentals of divorce. But the impact can be mitigated through an empathetic judge, a more reasonable to be ex wife and good lawyers. But such privileges are not to be taken for granted. That 1 shot you have if missed will ruin your life for a long time. How many years of life do you have to risk the probability? I am glad you took that shot well and your circumstances weren't intentionally tipped against you to use the full force of the WC.

[Xgenre]

I think it will be better to share the names of the lawyers who can give guys good advice during the process and get good outcomes for guys at the end. Please add name of law firm too. Better for those who may need the info now or in future.

[chachachang4]

I think it will be better to share the names of the lawyers who can give guys good advice during the process and get good outcomes for guys at the end. Please add name of law firm too. Better for those who may need the info now or in future.

Better send by PM.
Lawyers cannot advertise or get exposure indirectly from forums in disguised advertising. Instead of helping them you will get them into trouble instead.
Just send by PM if you want to recommend.

[popeye21]

Length of marriage: 6 years
Number of kids: 3
Was wife working when divorce happened? yes

What salary bracket if so? $2k plua
Custody of kids: joint custody. she gets care and control

Monthly maintenance: $440 per child plus 130 for insurance rider for all 3 child.

Mode: contested divorce

Marital property: house split 50/50. pay alimony of $12500. muslim divorce.all settle. watever she claim was rejected. both side engaged lawyer. mine was around 7k. maintenance 3k. divorce around 4k

[iluvbreast]

You had an easier time with negotiations, I am thankful you didn't have to face the brunt of the WC. The statutory arrangements of the WC is not fair and works against the men. This remains the fundamentals of divorce. But the impact can be mitigated through an empathetic judge, a more reasonable to be ex wife and good lawyers. But such privileges are not to be taken for granted. That 1 shot you have if missed will ruin your life for a long time. How many years of life do you have to risk the probability? I am glad you took that shot well and your circumstances weren't intentionally tipped against you to use the full force of the WC.

Thank you for your well wishes bro JacqueMerlin, no the privileges you mentioned in your post are not to be taken for granted.

It was not an easy divorce, we were preparing for trial because negotiations broke down during the mediation sessions at the family court.

You are correct that I never really felt the brunt of WC against me, such that I had judgement made. It was because the ex felt no point fighting on (from her lawyer to mine) in court. According my lawyer we would win anyway.

If you read my other posts, it was a very lousy time in my life thus far. I was losing my job, my marriage sucked big time, very unreasonable issue comes out everyday.

I met my current wife, she was there for me to encourage me. It was then I realized, we only have 1 life, why not make lead a happy one?

The next I went to see my lawyer and started to plan, you cannot imagine the rage my ex flew into when she found I had a gf. It was not that my ex love me, it was because she felt she was so good, why in the world I would leave her for another?

Yup, we only have 1 shot at divorcing, that is why I earlier posted, get a good lawyer, and more importantly be very frank with your lawyer. My relative told me this, judges and lawyers, we are people also. To us (this is) just a job. As long as what you claim is reasonable (based on the facts submitted, which the other party cannot dispute) just stand firm and even if it is to enter judgement, it will not be too far from what you claimed.

My advice, before seeing your lawyer, think hard, what do you wish to retain? Everybody wants the child, the house and cash etc, but which is the most important. Think through and spell it out to your lawyer and let them advise if you have a good chance of getting what you want.

[ahgore]

Length of marriage: >10 years
Number of kids: 0, no sex for at least 7 years before divorce.
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?: yes. 7k range i make lesser but i pay for all the bills at home so she was able to use this as reason to maintain her lifestyle after divorce with the WC.
Custody of kids: (under wife or husband) no kids
Monthly maintenance: nil. Came at huge cost with strategy.
Mode: contested divorce or uncontested. Uncontested divorce. Ex wife found new bf in a rush to divorce was more open to lesser demands. Leveraged on this. Paid about 70k to ex wife in cash and shares to prevent her from asking for maintenance. She moved on to her new european bf.
Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife) i lost everything.
Summary: WC very powerful. It doesn't matter if she has an affair or not. WC requires men to pay. But at least I am free from the nightmare now.

No wonder pm lee so obedient to hc.

[ahgore]

Well since you asked, I shall advise:

Length of marriage: < 10 years

Number of kids: 1

Was wife working when divorce happened? Yes

What salary bracket if so? ~ annual salary about 100k

Custody of kids: (under wife or husband): Joint custody (do you even have to ask? it will always be joint unless either side wants to give it up).

Care And Control: (This is the one you should be asking) Child mostly with me, 1 over-night access to the mother (Sat-Sun).

Monthly maintenance: NIL, well she tried very hard (through her lawyer who likes to take the bull by the horns) and laid claims to everything, even those that belong to my family. End of the day, she had to walked away only with her fair share of our matrimonial assets (meaning either she paid for it or I deem to be fair so I don't wish to contest).

Mode: contested divorce or uncontested: Nearly contested, mediation sessions (at family court) failed so proceed with trial. During the pre-trial conference, settled out of court, basically she cited very unfair settlement.

Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife): Sold my share (determined in accordance to the ratio we paid) of the property to my ex-wife.

Your lawyer is correct about 'woman's charter' despite what some samsters here posted, it is actually quite fair. I don't know maybe some of them engage stupid lawyers or lawyers that don't really care.

I was lucky because someone in my side of the family is lawyer so I was recommended my lawyer and I got a free legal counsel.

Bro. Can pm me your lawyer contacts?

[JacqueMerlin]

https://www.singaporelawwatch.sg/Headlines/Wife-gets-larger-share-of-marital-assets-of-12m-after-ex-husband-claims-he-has-less-than-500-cash

Someone didn't take his shot carefully.

[Xgenre]

Someone didn't take his shot carefully.

This case is somewhat different. This guy is an EP and his wife has worked in his firm. She may have ready assess to the records of his billings and the billings of his team. His income is easily traceable. Plus declaring he has less than $500 is just extreme. Asking for trouble.

In most divorces, I think the wife will find it much harder to prove the income of the husband.

[damong777]

A lawyer specialising in family law is preferred to a normal lawyer. Do some homework before engaging one.

My friend made a mistake in lawyer choice and end up broke with poor advice.

[iluvbreast]

https://www.singaporelawwatch.sg/Headlines/Wife-gets-larger-share-of-marital-assets-of-12m-after-ex-husband-claims-he-has-less-than-500-cash

Someone didn't take his shot carefully.

This is an example of a stupid lawyer, one must never engage him, sure die.

How he expect others to believe, after he managed to set up his own law firm, made so much money previously and suddenly only have less than $500 in his account under no particularly adverse circumstances??

He is like that lawyer SY Wong, idiotic to the max.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Length of marriage: 7 years
Number of kids:1
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?: No but she more or less considered self employed cos i contributed 50k to help her set up shop selling kids clothing but went bust after 1 year. I was also self employed income not stable but she some how managed to get bank statements from my company tend showing sales over 1 mil (damn that is revenue not even nett profit)...so bro if you have a company keep your wives away from the accounts, they will use this to bite you in the ass..
Custody of kids: Ex took full custody
Monthly maintenance: Initially 1.1k but after 1 year varied down to 900
Mode: contested divorce
Marital property: HDB given to wife, already paid nearly 100k, court make me potong 50% of what i had paid from CPF to her....CPF came after me to pay back the 50% if not I won't be able to withdraw name from HDB which contravene court order given to me to get everything settled in 3 months..

In the end court made me pay all parties cost and even when i made request later for variation order on maintenance, i was made to pay her lawyer cost which according to a few other lawyers is highly irregular..

[iBitch69]

https://www.singaporelawwatch.sg/Headlines/Wife-gets-larger-share-of-marital-assets-of-12m-after-ex-husband-claims-he-has-less-than-500-cash

Someone didn't take his shot carefully.

Maybe give his money to 小三 ??

[ahgore]

Length of marriage: 7 years
Number of kids:1
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?: No but she more or less considered self employed cos i contributed 50k to help her set up shop selling kids clothing but went bust after 1 year. I was also self employed income not stable but she some how managed to get bank statements from my company tend showing sales over 1 mil (damn that is revenue not even nett profit)...so bro if you have a company keep your wives away from the accounts, they will use this to bite you in the ass..
Custody of kids: Ex took full custody
Monthly maintenance: Initially 1.1k but after 1 year varied down to 900
Mode: contested divorce
Marital property: HDB given to wife, already paid nearly 100k, court make me potong 50% of what i had paid from CPF to her....CPF came after me to pay back the 50% if not I won't be able to withdraw name from HDB which contravene court order given to me to get everything settled in 3 months..

In the end court made me pay all parties cost and even when i made request later for variation order on maintenance, i was made to pay her lawyer cost which according to a few other lawyers is highly irregular..

In the end.. only lawyers are the ones laughing.

[iluvbreast]

Length of marriage: 7 years
Number of kids:1
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so?: No but she more or less considered self employed cos i contributed 50k to help her set up shop selling kids clothing but went bust after 1 year. I was also self employed income not stable but she some how managed to get bank statements from my company tend showing sales over 1 mil (damn that is revenue not even nett profit)...so bro if you have a company keep your wives away from the accounts, they will use this to bite you in the ass..
Custody of kids: Ex took full custody
Monthly maintenance: Initially 1.1k but after 1 year varied down to 900
Mode: contested divorce
Marital property: HDB given to wife, already paid nearly 100k, court make me potong 50% of what i had paid from CPF to her....CPF came after me to pay back the 50% if not I won't be able to withdraw name from HDB which contravene court order given to me to get everything settled in 3 months..

In the end court made me pay all parties cost and even when i made request later for variation order on maintenance, i was made to pay her lawyer cost which according to a few other lawyers is highly irregular..

Bro HonkyTonkyMan, if you don't mind disclosing (just out of curiosity), your wife's shop went busted or were going busted during the time of divorce? Also were you a shareholder or director of that shop you set up for your wife? Lastly your company statement showing > 1m in revenue, was it once off or it is within the norm?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Bro HonkyTonkyMan, if you don't mind disclosing (just out of curiosity), your wife's shop went busted or were going busted during the time of divorce? Also were you a shareholder or director of that shop you set up for your wife? Lastly your company statement showing > 1m in revenue, was it once off or it is within the norm?
At time of divorce shop already closed down....I was not a shareholder or director the shop then was jointly operated with her sister..the 1m revenue statement was for the year before our divorce proceedings...before that i was actually a salaried man...

[iluvbreast]

At time of divorce shop already closed down....I was not a shareholder or director the shop then was jointly operated with her sister..the 1m revenue statement was for the year before our divorce proceedings...before that i was actually a salaried man...

I see, so if I am not wrong, then your wife (through her lawyer) would have presented a case to the judge that:
1. She should be have most of care & control since she has always be primary care giver.
2. She have problem (after divorcing since she needed to continue caring for your child) and need to re-enter work force.
3. Whereas you are doing relatively well because you are running your own business.

In essence, your 1.1K was actually maintenance your child even though your ex has full custody (something I don't understand, did you gave that up or was it care & control that she have?)

Only thing I don't get is why have to pay for her lawyer, this is something very out of character but then again, sometimes strange things happened.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I see, so if I am not wrong, then your wife (through her lawyer) would have presented a case to the judge that:
1. She should be have most of care & control since she has always be primary care giver.
2. She have problem (after divorcing since she needed to continue caring for your child) and need to re-enter work force.
3. Whereas you are doing relatively well because you are running your own business.

In essence, your 1.1K was actually maintenance your child even though your ex has full custody (something I don't understand, did you gave that up or was it care & control that she have?)

Only thing I don't get is why have to pay for her lawyer, this is something very out of character but then again, sometimes strange things happened.
The judge didn't even take into consideration the money i had taken out to help her set up her shop and it was not due to me that her business went bust...maybe the judge thinking i earn lots of money but the irony of it all, i myself business went bust and in the end had to declare bankruptcy but went back to vary the maintenance amount only lowered by a couple of hundreds..
She had full custody not even joint in my case...
Yes you are right regarding full cost all to me, as I said a few lawyers said it was most unusual..

[Datingafter35]

Now I know why Leonardo Dicaprio always bang young chicks. Won't be asked to settle down.

I'll get one who has buying power.

[LooksLikeJesus]

FYI, prenuptial agreement is not recognised in Singapore marital courts

https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/prenuptial-agreements-singapore/

https://irblaw.com.sg/learning-centre/overview-of-prenuptial-agreements/

https://www.expatdivorce.sg/international-prenuptial-agreements-in-singapore/

[YELLOW]

We should scrap WC.....

[Greendevil]

Gentleman, WC is only an old name on a valid legislations. If you red thru the clause carefully, there is nothing gender inequality written in the language. What many bros failed here is that they didnt protray the right image in the divorce settlement.

My case, it happen over a decade ago so maybe thing now have change:

Length of marriage:8 years
Number of kids:1
Was wife working when divorce happened? What salary bracket if so? Yes . Earning 3k but have large saving. Myself was earning 5k back then, but was paying everything for the household from start while she saved her money.
Custody of kids: (under wife or husband)I got it
Monthly maintenance:$0.00. Yes it is zero.
Mode: contested divorce. initially i offer 50-50 split right down to the end on the HDB, no maintenance. but she wanted 80/20 and with maintenance.
Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife)
sold on open market.
FJ (Final judgement not full job)
was given 92% to me and 8% to her, and she wanted to appeal. dont want to drag on another court session, finally give her 12% and if dont take the 12%, I made her pay for subsequent court session and lawyer fee.

Very impt, rights for sale of HDB solely under myself.

my advice to all bros here, remember divorce case in Singapore take minimum from 3 months to over years. 3 month case is assuming both parties divroce amicably. but in reality less than 1% of the case is resolve amicably. Cos there are out of courts or informal neg before reaches it.

In other words, you need to prepare for a long battle of at least a year. you need to protray you are the victim in the case as much as possible and your story line and image need to be consistent throughout. There will be many instances where you receive a letter /mail from your lawyer or ex that make you blow your top. Many are in a fit of anger or high emotion when replying. You need to keep cool, think long term and strategy. one wrong move in the chess may cost you the game.

[LooksLikeJesus]

" there is nothing gender inequality written in the language."

I beg to differ, written and interpretation are 2 very different actions. You need to understand that this is a very gynocentric society. To put it bluntly, putting pussy on a pedestal. The martial courts are skewed towards the females, albeit not as bad as the west.

In Sg, it is the only place whereby a PM can be promoted to Senior PM, a person holding a pc of placeholder can be be charged under illegal assembly. Despite these situations have nothing to do with martial laws and issues. But this is an indicator and predictor of the courts' judgement.

However, you are not wrong in advising men to reply in a calm, cordial and rational manner.

[Beretta]

My case, it happen over a decade ago so maybe thing now have change.

Divorce proceedings have changed drastically from 10 years ago. The procedures are so different now from years ago that even lawyers themselves who were out of the scene for just a few years find themselves lost and not sure what to do now.

[Hunkydunky]

I see, so if I am not wrong, then your wife (through her lawyer) would have presented a case to the judge that:
1. She should be have most of care & control since she has always be primary care giver.
2. She have problem (after divorcing since she needed to continue caring for your child) and need to re-enter work force.
3. Whereas you are doing relatively well because you are running your own business.

In essence, your 1.1K was actually maintenance your child even though your ex has full custody (something I don't understand, did you gave that up or was it care & control that she have?)

Only thing I don't get is why have to pay for her lawyer, this is something very out of character but then again, sometimes strange things happened.
I feel that somehow her lawyer is trying his luck. And bingo he got it. Ex wife clap hands no need to pay lawyer. If it's not norm, then shouldn't pay. Check with own lawyer.

[Hunkydunky]

Divorce proceedings have changed drastically from 10 years ago. The procedures are so different now from years ago that even lawyers themselves who were out of the scene for just a few years find themselves lost and not sure what to do now.

That's why must find experience ones.

BTW, I got a feeling female lawyers will tend to side wife more.

My wife ever throw me a letter... I got 2 kids... each kid she wants $1500...which makes $3000 monthly. My take home pay all go to kids liao. I no need to eat.

I go see lawyer.. female lawyer.. told her my situation.. and my income level. She said $1500 per kid is reasonable. Wtf!

[fallen11]

That's why must find experience ones.

BTW, I got a feeling female lawyers will tend to side wife more.

My wife ever throw me a letter... I got 2 kids... each kid she wants $1500...which makes $3000 monthly. My take home pay all go to kids liao. I no need to eat.

I go see lawyer.. female lawyer.. told her my situation.. and my income level. She said $1500 per kid is reasonable. Wtf!

my sibling was like your case.
But his ex wife demanded 3k maintainance + 1.5k for their only kid.
it was even more than his take home pay.
In the end, judge settle for no maintainence + $1k a month for the kid.

Another friend got 2 kids. His take home pay slightly higher than yours.
The ex wife demanded too much: the whole flat (which she paid $0), $1k maintainance + $1k each per kid.
Judge also settled for no maintainence + $600 per kid

Is $1.5k per kid a month reasonable? That depends on your family income level and lifestyle during marriage.
For someone with $2k household income, $600 per kid may not be reasonable.
For someone with at least $6k income, $1.5k per kid is probably reasonable.
Dont just follow what your lawyer says. You engage lawyer to fight case for you, not to surrender in court for you.
Find another lawyer.

[Hunkydunky]

my sibling was like your case.
But his ex wife demanded 3k maintainance + 1.5k for their only kid.
it was even more than his take home pay.
In the end, judge settle for no maintainence + $1k a month for the kid.

Another friend got 2 kids. His take home pay slightly higher than yours.
The ex wife demanded too much: the whole flat (which she paid $0), $1k maintainance + $1k each per kid.
Judge also settled for no maintainence + $600 per kid

Is $1.5k per kid a month reasonable? That depends on your family income level and lifestyle during marriage.
For someone with $2k household income, $600 per kid may not be reasonable.
For someone with at least $6k income, $1.5k per kid is probably reasonable.
Dont just follow what your lawyer says. You engage lawyer to fight case for you, not to surrender in court for you.
Find another lawyer.
Thanks for your advice.

In the end, lawyers are the happy ones.

[Xgenre]

If you cannot pay maintenance in future, do the guys go to jail? I think may go to jail these days right? Better fight all the way on maintenance matters. Go to jail may affect your future employment chances.

[Hunkydunky]

If you cannot pay maintenance in future, do the guys go to jail? I think may go to jail these days right? Better fight all the way on maintenance matters. Go to jail may affect your future employment chances.

If marriage broke down leading to unable to pay maintenance and leading to go jail...i think many guys will not get married to disadvantage themselves.

Because if marriage breaks down... guys are the ones in losing end. Must think very hard before signing the papers.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

If you cannot pay maintenance in future, do the guys go to jail? I think may go to jail these days right? Better fight all the way on maintenance matters. Go to jail may affect your future employment chances.

yes, the ex has to apply to court and court will find you in contempt and send you to do jail time..... and the missed payment still have to be paid even though you serve time for not paying..plus interest

but last time lawyer told me got some hardcore cases, die die don't want to pay prefer jail time kena a few times until court bo bian tell ex give leeway, force them also they cannot pay..

[Hunkydunky]

yes, the ex has to apply to court and court will find you in contempt and send you to do jail time..... and the missed payment still have to be paid even though you serve time for not paying..plus interest

but last time lawyer told me got some hardcore cases, die die don't want to pay prefer jail time kena a few times until court bo bian tell ex give leeway, force them also they cannot pay..

Yah man.. no money how to pay, right? If guy bear grudges, likely don't work on purpose or work part time just to get minimal enough to survive yet not enough to pay maintenance. What can the ex do?

[JacqueMerlin]

yes, the ex has to apply to court and court will find you in contempt and send you to do jail time..... and the missed payment still have to be paid even though you serve time for not paying..plus interest

but last time lawyer told me got some hardcore cases, die die don't want to pay prefer jail time kena a few times until court bo bian tell ex give leeway, force them also they cannot pay..


I cannot understand, since they feel that their ex husband is a scoundrel, why prolong the difficulties and make it harder for the children by demainding money from their ex? Is revenge so sweet and intoxicating that they forget the cost and toll it have on the children?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I cannot understand, since they feel that their ex husband is a scoundrel, why prolong the difficulties and make it harder for the children by demainding money from their ex? Is revenge so sweet and intoxicating that they forget the cost and toll it have on the children?

hard to say but most of the times, this families are really broken families mainly from the lower income type...husband are typically not working etc..

[raefear]

*Sorry, Post Deleted*

[raefear]

*Sorry, Post Deleted*

[iluvbreast]

Hi Bro, could you pls PM me your Lawyer's contact.

PM me if you want to ask, don't be rude and hijack other people's thread.

[raefear]

*Sorry, Post Deleted*

[Genetic]

"Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife): Sold my share (determined in accordance to the ratio we paid) of the property to my ex-wife."


I like to ask, if (Prior to marriage), the husband owned a fully-paid property (either he very high earning, or his parents very wealthy and transfer a property to his name in full).......
When divorce happen, what will happen to this property? Does he have to give up half to the wife?

[iluvbreast]

"Marital property: (sold and split proceeds, or given to wife): Sold my share (determined in accordance to the ratio we paid) of the property to my ex-wife."


I like to ask, if (Prior to marriage), the husband owned a fully-paid property (either he very high earning, or his parents very wealthy and transfer a property to his name in full).......
When divorce happen, what will happen to this property? Does he have to give up half to the wife?

Yes and no, it depends, among other factors, how and when was the property acquired.

For example if the parents gave the property as a martial gift...then the wife may be given a share...however if say the property is held in trust by the husband for his parents, then naturally cannot lah.

The thing is divorce proceedings are not so straight forward it depends on how the facts are presented...the best is spend some money and consult a lawyer.

[rix6669]

Looks like most don't have spouse maintenance, can I ask is it because spouse works and earn enough to sustain themselves?

What happen if spouse used to work and stopped work due to give birth. Then after birth become a stay home mum. Then divorce happen?
Got winning chance for no spouse maintenance? Or she will be asked to go back work.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

What happen if spouse used to work and stopped work due to give birth. Then after birth become a stay home mum. Then divorce happen?
Got winning chance for no spouse maintenance? Or she will be asked to go back work.
There is no way one can avoid paying maintenance for ex-spouse unless its a one off payment or she chooses not to claim. If woman quit to be stay home mum, likely is the maintenance will be higher compared to when she working. Cos she now zero income the kangaroo court will take this factor in. And no choice to work or don't work is hers court cannot ask her to go back work.

[kayakracer]

There is no way one can avoid paying maintenance for ex-spouse unless its a one off payment or she chooses not to claim. If woman quit to be stay home mum, likely is the maintenance will be higher compared to when she working. Cos she now zero income the kangaroo court will take this factor in. And no choice to work or don't work is hers court cannot ask her to go back work.

yes i divorced. definitely have maintenance.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

yes i divorced. definitely have maintenance.

same for me, been paying for 20 over years now, no more for kid since now she grown up and earning her own keep..

[lookoutcum]

same for me, been paying for 20 over years now, no more for kid since now she grown up and earning her own keep..

Unless have agreement between both parties and agreed to stop paying if the ex-wife remarried like my bro's case.

10mths after divorced lawyer letter came and told him they his kid wants to change surname and need his approval. Condition being he stop maintenance fees but stop seeing the child as well. He took the offer and stop paying and started a new family after 2yrs.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Unless have agreement between both parties and agreed to stop paying if the ex-wife remarried like my bro's case.

10mths after divorced lawyer letter came and told him they his kid wants to change surname and need his approval. Condition being he stop maintenance fees but stop seeing the child as well. He took the offer and stop paying and started a new family after 2yrs.
Bro ex-wife remarried auto stop maintenance, however, for kid I assume the new partner willing to take over the upkeep since the kid is going to take over his surname, if not maintenance for kid still have to pay till they over 21 or finish studying..

[JiraJira]

same for me, been paying for 20 over years now, no more for kid since now she grown up and earning her own keep..

i think in SG is pay until child reach age 21 correct ?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

i think in SG is pay until child reach age 21 correct ?

Not exactly, if the kid is still studying ie uni, have to continue paying...

[iamsootlor]

Not exactly, if the kid is still studying ie uni, have to continue paying...

wah sg child so pampered one ah ?

[rix6669]

Anyone know what happen to the housing grant taken after divorce?
Total of 15k + 25k.
I have used up the 15k during downpayment. The 25k was granted after sometime, so it's still in my cpf OA. But consider I have take the full housing grant.

After divorce, do cpf take back this grant? Or I get to keep it?

If it's taken back, does it means I'm a first timer to buy bto again?

[fallen11]

Anyone know what happen to the housing grant taken after divorce?
Total of 15k + 25k.
I have used up the 15k during downpayment. The 25k was granted after sometime, so it's still in my cpf OA. But consider I have take the full housing grant.

After divorce, do cpf take back this grant? Or I get to keep it?

If it's taken back, does it means I'm a first timer to buy bto again?

i have not experienced this before
but
from what i know
the grant is only taken back when your sell the house, with interest

[kayakracer]

same for me, been paying for 20 over years now, no more for kid since now she grown up and earning her own keep..

is there a way to have maintanence only for the child not the ex wife ?

[nasikangkang]

is there a way to have maintanence only for the child not the ex wife ?

interesting question i curious also.

[JiraJira]

Not exactly, if the kid is still studying ie uni, have to continue paying...

oh not by age... wah xiong.. i scared to get married in case kanna divorce become shag lol

[Xgenre]

is there a way to have maintanence only for the child not the ex wife ?

Introduce her a new husband. Once she is married, can stop. Alternatively, maybe if she has a big wage increment

[koreanoppa]

Introduce her a new husband. Once she is married, can stop. Alternatively, maybe if she has a big wage increment

both solutions quite tough ah. introduce new husband must she like the guy and the guy like her. wage increment depends on the job. Leave it up to fate liao

[fallen11]

introduce new husband must she like the guy and the guy like her.

no it goes worse than that. They must become legally married.
Most divorcee couples i know only ended up co habiting. They do not remarry legally...

[yaowaratboy]

no it goes worse than that. They must become legally married.
Most divorcee couples i know only ended up co habiting. They do not remarry legally...

i think they only remarry if necesasry like doing visa ?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

is there a way to have maintanence only for the child not the ex wife ?

not unless you can get the ex to state she don't want to take a single cent from you if not die also have to pay to ex..even if she earns more then you, still have pay a nominal fee to her...worse part if they leave a option to vary the amount, that means next time when she old don't want to work she can go back court and ask to increase amount....

[guess67]

I have never asked for maintenance from my ex, so I can ask now? :confused:

[HonkyTonkyMan]

I have never asked for maintenance from my ex, so I can ask now? :confused:

well if you left a clause to vary the order why not, not unless you went for a one time settlement then close case..

[bsicassecd]

i think they only remarry if necesasry like doing visa ?

Likely will remarry if they have kid?

[rix6669]

not unless you can get the ex to state she don't want to take a single cent from you if not die also have to pay to ex..even if she earns more then you, still have pay a nominal fee to her...worse part if they leave a option to vary the amount, that means next time when she old don't want to work she can go back court and ask to increase amount....

Where did u get this info from? If the woman can work educated and can earn decent income, there's no need to give wife a maintenance fee. According to lawyers I asked.

[larue]

Where did u get this info from? If the woman can work educated and can earn decent income, there's no need to give wife a maintenance fee. According to lawyers I asked.

That why you went to see a lawyer so you can tell truth from complete cock like that on the internet.

Was your lawyers advice satisfactory?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Where did u get this info from? If the woman can work educated and can earn decent income, there's no need to give wife a maintenance fee. According to lawyers I asked.
its all depends on judge, but in general if she has her own earning capacity and if she really earns much more then the guy...court will assess and perhaps award a nominal sum or not award..but the smart lawyers will tell the woman to leave clause to vary the amount just in case in future they lose job or old cannot work..fyi i became bankrupt and my ex still working...i still have to pay maintenance thou court lower a little..

[BushTracker]

Introduce her a new husband. Once she is married, can stop. Alternatively, maybe if she has a big wage increment

Erm, the wife can don't get married and still stay with the new guy. Then how? ended up sponsoring both. :D

[iluvbreast]

Where did u get this info from? If the woman can work educated and can earn decent income, there's no need to give wife a maintenance fee. According to lawyers I asked.

The outcome of Bro HonkyTonkyMan's case was unusual (even himself admitted it, when we were discussing in another thread). I did asked about his outcome with my relative who was still practising then. It was quite well known within the legal fraternity.

The thing is his outcome was not the norm, why it happened like that...well I am not a judge so...

Bro HonkyTonkyMan always refer to his own divorce (like me); that is more responsible, drawing on one's own experience for reference rather than hearsay.

I would rather read what he posted and then check with the lawyer to make it don't happen (to me).

[iluvbreast]

is there a way to have maintanence only for the child not the ex wife ?

Of course, I only pay to maintain my kid, not my ex-wife.

[larue]

The outcome of Bro HonkyTonkyMan's case was unusual (even himself admitted it, when we were discussing in another thread). I did asked about his outcome with my relative who was still practising then. It was quite well known within the legal fraternity.

The thing is his outcome was not the norm, why it happened like that...well I am not a judge so...

Bro HonkyTonkyMan always refer to his own divorce (like me); that is more responsible, drawing on one's own experience for reference rather than hearsay.

I would rather read what he posted and then check with the lawyer to make it don't happen (to me).

That's unfortunate for Honky, and as you and he said later, unusual.

The norm is that once the quantum of spousal maintenance is ascertained, it takes unusual circumstances to get it varied, and it is certainly not a case of an ex wife being able to claim more purely on a 'dont want to work' basis.

Perhaps he could share more about his situation in the interest of information sharing.

[xiaobudian8123]

I have never asked for maintenance from my ex, so I can ask now? :confused:

with valid reasons maybe ? can try ? lol

[xiaobudian8123]

Of course, I only pay to maintain my kid, not my ex-wife.

wife agree to this term ? or was it contested ?

[HonkyTonkyMan]

The outcome of Bro HonkyTonkyMan's case was unusual (even himself admitted it, when we were discussing in another thread). I did asked about his outcome with my relative who was still practising then. It was quite well known within the legal fraternity.

The thing is his outcome was not the norm, why it happened like that...well I am not a judge so...

Bro HonkyTonkyMan always refer to his own divorce (like me); that is more responsible, drawing on one's own experience for reference rather than hearsay.

I would rather read what he posted and then check with the lawyer to make it don't happen (to me).
yea bro even when i went to vary maintenance order, end of the day the fuck up judge ask me to pay all the cost even the other side, something which my lawyer told me was unusual as the norm is each side to bear their own..

end of the day i realized one thing, in the court of law there is really no such thing as truth, its who has the better and more convincing lawyer able to turn black into white..that why good lawyers are paid so much..likewise any affidavit you submit to court, sure you can sumpah on it and say its the truth but who can really verify, its not the court duty they just take your word for it, you can say its an chargeable offense, truth, if the other party don't believe it their job to try and find out and dig the dirt..end of the day the court process is still a money game..who can pay and stay the course, the truth is on his side..:(

[HonkyTonkyMan]

That's unfortunate for Honky, and as you and he said later, unusual.

The norm is that once the quantum of spousal maintenance is ascertained, it takes unusual circumstances to get it varied, and it is certainly not a case of an ex wife being able to claim more purely on a 'dont want to work' basis.

Perhaps he could share more about his situation in the interest of information sharing.
bro just for context when i say "don't want to work" i don't mean in the sense just one day stop and laze around do nothing but collect maintenance, of course the court will assess everyone situation but as i post earlier, what is truth or not no one knows, everyone looking out for their own interest...

[larue]

bro just for context when i say "don't want to work" i don't mean in the sense just one day stop and laze around do nothing but collect maintenance, of course the court will assess everyone situation but as i post earlier, what is truth or not no one knows, everyone looking out for their own interest...

That's what it sounded like, and that is really not useful for anyone seeking to get general advice on divorce matters.

Anyway all the best to you, and happy to buy you a drink by way of apology.

[benjm85]

Hi anyone can intro a good divorce lawyer?
Some background :
Married more than 10 years
2 kids: 6 and 12
Family expenses and mortgage loan all fully paid by me
I earn more than my wife
Reason for divorce: Wife has big gambling issues.

[fallen11]

Hi anyone can intro a good divorce lawyer?
Some background :
Married more than 10 years
2 kids: 6 and 12
Family expenses and mortgage loan all fully paid by me
I earn more than my wife
Reason for divorce: Wife has big gambling issues.

not lawyer to intro you.
but: Wife has big gambling issues - do you have proof to show it in court?
if so, child custody very much goes to you

[benjm85]

not lawyer to intro you.
but: Wife has big gambling issues - do you have proof to show it in court?
if so, child custody very much goes to you

Have receipt to show I help her pay the legal moneylenders..

[airman]

Hi anyone can intro a good divorce lawyer?
Some background :
Married more than 10 years
2 kids: 6 and 12
Family expenses and mortgage loan all fully paid by me
I earn more than my wife
Reason for divorce: Wife has big gambling issues.

betting big on 4D & TOTO or she goes to gambling dens?

[benjm85]

betting big on 4D & TOTO or she goes to gambling dens?

Not about 4d and toto bro..bigger stuff..

[verywet]

not lawyer to intro you.
but: Wife has big gambling issues - do you have proof to show it in court?
if so, child custody very much goes to you

ya and probably no need give maintenance to her if divorced. i think.

[verywet]

Have receipt to show I help her pay the legal moneylenders..

receipt to pay doesnt show the use of the money. not strong enough in my opinion. if got concrete proof would be better. photos of her in casino etc. 4D TOTO receipts in big amounts?

[kayakracer]

Of course, I only pay to maintain my kid, not my ex-wife.

good to know. but this will need lawyer to help fight for it ? if normal divorce, usually maintenance will include for ex wife also ?

[yaowaratboy]

Likely will remarry if they have kid?

that is another possibility. age though will be a consideration unless shotgun lol